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Husband's stress is stressing out our marriage !

My husband has always had a big grumy side, but over the last 7 years it was never a big deal because i could usually something funny or make him kiss me, and the mood would be over.

In the last 6 months he has worked for a temp agency because he last his job last summer... This brough a big amount of stress and I could understand that, and i tried to make the best of it... it was harder to get him out of that mood, but he would still have times to where he wasnt as grouchy... I knew he was stressed because he was worried about how to provide for our family if he was unable to find another job when the temp job was up...

He ended up getting a new job - his dream job actually, what he went to school for and the job he has been looking for...but now it has brought on a whole new kind of stress for him... I understand he is still stressed, I understand it is hard starting a new job, with new people, and worrying about if he is doing things up to par... but his stress is taking a toll on me and the kids , and i just cant deal with it anymore.

His grouchyness is more than grouchyness now... and it is constant, there is absolutely no break from his attitude. Every morning, everynight, it is the same - him complaining, yelling, and just plain being mean to us... even during the day if he texts me, you can tell he is texting in a mean way ...

So now the kids I pretty much aviod him when he is home, and I hate that... family and homelife is everything to me ( and use to be to him) and now we are never in the same room at the same time without yelling at each other.

He complains about everything I make to eat... he will find something wrong with every little thing ( too dry, too moist, too much flavor, not enough flavor, etc ) , he complains and hs actually says that I just lay around all day and calls me lazy ... well if I am so lazy, how can i make those big meals he complains about, how can i clean the house ( which he says isnt clean if there is one toy laying on the floor) , and also I babysitt 2-3 extra kids a day, which means i have about 5 toddlers to chase around on a daily basis and NONE of them take naps....

Even the fact of laundry... he complained that i couldnt wash his clothes right, so now he will wash them... he puts way to much laundry detergent in the wash which leaves "grease marks" .. he will then still complain that *I* cant do laundry ( me and the kids clothes all look fine) ...

I have tried talking to him, and it doesnt work... he tells me to be quiet or he will say ok.. and 10 mintues later he is back at it...

So now i dont even talk to him, and when i do it just ends with me gritting my teeth ( wanting to hurt him ) or yelling back at him ( whcih i hate to do because I know the kids can hear us) ...

i just feel so stuck, the optimist in me just keeps thinking things will go back to normal when he get more comfortable with his new job, but on the other hand it has been 2 months and it hasnt...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • Time for a talk.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 3:23 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Just from reading this one post, he sounds abusive. The fact that you can't do anything right is a sign of an abuser. I would read up on abusive personalities, like narcissistic personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder and see if any of these fit your situation. I don't think I could put up with any of that.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:51 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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