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2 Bumps

Do you think people need to be married to have kids?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/120609/do_pregnant_single_moms_really

This was the article if anyone wants to read it, but the question remains:

if you're committed enough to make a baby, why wouldn't you just go ahead and get married, too? What would hold you back?
Obviously this only pertains to those in a relationship- not rape victims.


Do you think people need to be married to have kids?

Answer Question
 
elizabooks

Asked by elizabooks at 5:25 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,946 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I do not understand why people are committed enough to buy homes together, have children, and share bank accounts but will not marry. No you do not need to be married to have kids, but if you are that committed to one another why not marry?

    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 5:27 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I personally dont think people need to be married to have children.. however it is ideal.
    momand4kids

    Answer by momand4kids at 5:28 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I'm not saying anything either way. I was just curious what other people think about it.
    elizabooks

    Comment by elizabooks (original poster) at 5:30 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • its a better situation when you are married I think
    Emmajosmommy

    Answer by Emmajosmommy at 5:31 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • No I dont think you need to. My dd is 22 and she sees things alot differently then I do and its probably a generational thing. Anyway, if you love each other and are comitted then its all that matters. More than half of marriages end in divorce anyway.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:31 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I wasn't married when I got pregnant of my daughter. I raised her alone, it was hard but I managed alone. Married it's a lot easier yes, because I'm a SAHM when my husband comes home he jumps in and helps with the kids.
    marinebrats

    Answer by marinebrats at 5:37 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 1/2 years, and SURPRISE... we got pregnant! We are both happy... due date is July 17th. BUT... we are not ready to marry each other. There are still things in our relationship that we need to work on before we take that step. I see nothing wrong with kids before/without marriage. If it works for the couple, then that should be all that matters.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 5:38 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I think there needs to be a lifetime commitment. I have been with my LP for 14 years, but we have never married. Our oldest will be 6 in October, so we were together many years before we TTC our first. I think a lot of people think they are with their "forever" mate after 6 months or a year and things break down after a baby.

    As far as why we don't get married, well, we aren't religious and our families have never pushed the issue, so the pressure just hasn't been there. I was the "oddity", a female that hasn't dreamed of a wedding my entire life LOL, so I didn't have that motivation. At least 80 percent of the people I know who have been married, have been divorced...at least once. To me, it doesn't offer any additional security. However, if it was important to him someday, I would marry him, and vice versa.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 5:38 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • The statistics aren't all that accurate. Half of all marriages ending in divorce means ALL marriages. The people who are on their first marriage are counted along with those who have been divorced 10 times and preparing for wedding #11. Pretty sure most would agree that the two are not equal.

    Being married is ideal and I agree with you. My BIL is in the same situation - together over 10 years, 3 kids (2 are his biologically), they own their own home, etc etc. They're committed in just about every way a couple can be. Yet something making it official as well as guaranteeing legal rights if one of them were to die is too serious?
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I used to think people should be married to have kids. However, married people do get divorced and end up single parents regardless. So if you know that you are better off not getting married dont involve the kids in the everyday living together "married" drama.
    missthang42001

    Answer by missthang42001 at 5:57 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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