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MIL problem...

This past spring my husband and i moved in with my mother in law... she recently got divorced ( not husbands dad) and so she had less money coming in... we just moved back to this town and was looking for a house to buy, so we figured we would help each other out.... we would move in and pay rent and half the utilities, but it was still cheap enough to where we could save some money for a new house ...

My husbands half brother is mentally disabled and somewhat hard to take care of ... i honestly do not mind taking care of him some times... but slowly mother in law has left him in my care everyday ... At first it started out as just the 1 or 2 days a week or when he was sick and could go to the sitter or to day camp... but now she just completely fired the sitter and just leaves him with me everyday... she never asked me to, we never talked about it... I would just wake up in the morning and she would be off to work and he would still be here...

I mean i am not trying to cause a problem or make abig deal out of it... but it is actually starting to cause me problems... I am pregnant and I just feel like these last couple of months are mine to have by myself, I am not aloud to take him anywhere and he doesnt like to go outside, so I cant even go onto the porch... and like I said i am fine with watching him a couple days a week , but not everyday ... my husband says to just talk to MIL about it ( he never sees her because of their work schedules) ... but she is so hard to talk to.... also I want to point out she is not so hard up for money that she couldnt pay the sitter... I mean i understand it is nicer to have extra money, but I think since we are paying half the mortage and half the utilites i should have to "work off" the fact that we are living here....

what do you think ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Hate to say it but your gonna have to buck up & talk with her. Maybe work out something where you have a certain couple of days to watch him every single week (cut down on cost) then start to interview for new sitters. You cant let her do this to you so hold your ground, keep firm bc it isnt your job to watch him all day every day you never agreed to that.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 5:36 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Sounds like shes using you and thats a no no in my book. I would ask hubby to talk to his mom about it since it is his mother. If he doesnt want to get involved (like my hubby always does when I have issues with his mother) then I would tell her how I really feel about it.

    Answer by missthang42001 at 5:42 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Your husband has to take the time to talk to her about it since she is his mother. That means calling her at work or from work if that's what it takes. Your goodwill is being abused.

    Answer by SWasson at 5:48 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Hope this doesn't sound the wrong way, but leave the house before she has a chance to leave him with you. Make plans to be somewhere else during those times. And if that doesn't work, talk to her. (Grrrrr) I know it isn't easy, but right now you are doing what makes someone else happy while making yourself miserable. If she gets angry with you, she'll get over it.

    Answer by KolaT at 5:52 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Um, I'd say your MIL just took complete and total advantage of you and the situation at hand. She decided this herself and said the hell with you. That's exactly what she did. Wow. One thing I've learned from watching others is....never, ever move in with family. Only as a last ditch effort to keep off the streets. It never works out right.
    Poor You! I would have to be waiting for her when she came in from work to have a talk. Just because you're there doesn't mean you're a doormat. Where's DH in all this? What's he say?
    You've got to tell her that you were not expecting this and it worked better with a sitter for him. Now you are locked up everyday and that's not your choice. Gosh....Good Luck! I hope you fix it ...and fast. I would be very upset.

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 7:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • here is my question what would happen if something happened and you went into early labor?????? Who would be there?? you would have to worry about him and you..i would make my dh talk to her since its his mother not yours! I can totally understand about wanting those last months to yourself..i also agree that maybe you should get up early and leave before she has a chance to leave him with you..its not fair and i would def put my foot down now before the baby comes or you could end up with him and a new baby to look after daily!

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 10:12 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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