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This is more me being sad and hurt than a question.

My grandmother passed away in the beginning of April. We have planned to plant an apple tree in the woods, and spread her ashes on Thursday so my out of state sister can be there. We are supposed to do this as a family. Well, I have kept Thursday open so I can be there. Well... my mother informed me yesterday that they have moved it to Friday, before the rehearsal for my other sisters wedding. Well, before the rehearsal I am in a WIC class all morning that I cannot reschedule or skip bc I would no longer get my food vouchers if I did. My mom, and sisters, and dad KNEW I was busy, bc they made the rehearsal time around when I was done with my class! I reminded my mom of this, told her that makes me really sad I wont be able to be there... and she just said, Okay, its fine if you cant go. !! Grrr. I understand that she has alot of things on her plate and that she has been really busy. I am trying not to be angry. But I am. I really wanted to be there, and there is nothing I can do about it and nobody seems to care. My feelings are really hurt and Im really angry that my whole family gets to say good-bye and be together and I don't.

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Tarrar

Asked by Tarrar at 5:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,733 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • When my kids were on WIC, someone that you designate could go to the class or appointment for you. Im not sure if they still do that or not. I hope everything works out for you!
    missthang42001

    Answer by missthang42001 at 5:38 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Yea, and that person would be my mother. :(
    Tarrar

    Comment by Tarrar (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I would have my own goodbye ceremony. I wouldn't let my family stand between me and closure. I planted a flower garden in memory of my unborn child. Maybe you could do something like that!
    KolaT

    Answer by KolaT at 5:47 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Go on your own, to me that would mean more than anything. You can have one on one time, talk as long as youd like or about whatever youd like.
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 5:56 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • grr is right
    you have hurt feeling and have every right to
    but
    you also have a fmaily wedding and can not be feeling this during that(you would not be happy eith yourself later on if one thing over lapped the other)

    it may sound odd (and excuse me for saying this if it offends you) but is it possible that some of the ashes could be saved for you, so you can have a private moment at this special place, just you and your thoughts of your grandmother, at a time in near future
    not the same but maybe this will help with your feelings of grandmother passing. how do you feel about that or how would your family feel?

    sorry to hear of your lose
    congrates on sisters wedding
    and your feelings of hurt are expected

    hope some compromise will be worked out
    hugs
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:13 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Speak up! Them them what you feel! It should not have been changed. Do they even know why you can not attend?
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 7:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I would be upset too. It's like they deliberately went ahead and scheduled it for when you were busy and they knew this. No wonder you're hurt. I would have to bring it up again and state how important this was to me. "I really wanted to be there" didn't get through to your mother, try again but LOUDER. (in other words.)
    It's either that or....you're going to have to have your own ceremony and goodbye like everyone else above said too.

    So Sorry! I hope it works out for you. We don't need more disappointments in life...it's already hard.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 8:00 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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