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6 Bumps

My daughter asked me who was going to be her daddy. It is the most heartbreaking thing she has ever asked and I dunno if I answered right.

My 4 year old daughter asked me yesterday who was going to be her daddy. Her biological father wants nothing to do with us and has offered me money to just leave him and his fiance alone. My husband left me a few months ago when I was 17 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. I am now 31. She sees my sons going for visitation and knows they are going to their dads. I asked her why she needs a daddy and she said because she needs 2 parents. I asked her why when she has me and she said she needs a daddy to pick her up from Kindergarten. I told her she has me for that and she said No I need a daddy. I have no idea what to say to her. She is 4 and it breaks my heart she realizes no man wants to be in her life and be her daddy. I work with kids for a living and yet I have no idea if I should have answered her differently.

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mrssmitley1210

Asked by mrssmitley1210 at 11:57 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 9 (315 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • awh,.,. I have no words... just HUGS... I'm so sorry!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:58 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I wish I could give you a hug...so sorry you have to even attempt to answer that question for her.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 12:00 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • It sucks. My girl wanted a daddy and I just got married 2 weeks ago so she has one but she is now 14 and having a hard time adjusting to having a guy in her life who cares. I mean today he took her to the movies and the mall and bought her a new phone case. She was happy but feels weird cuz she isn't used to it.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:03 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • it might be an imposition on your ex but maybe you could talk to him and see if he would include your daughter when he takes the boys.. just be honest with her and tell her the truth.. not all men are cut out to be daddys and sometimes mommy gets the awesome job of being both mommy and daddy to the most special of pretty little girls...
    girlglow6

    Answer by girlglow6 at 12:08 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Will you give her a BIG HUG from me...My heart goes out to you and your little girl. I got teary eyed reading this ;(
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 12:09 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I wont let him take her. He has been going back and forth with my feelings and I will not let him do that to her. He told me he wants our divorce to go through so we can start fresh and he wants us to try and work things out and that he is starting to have feelings for me again, then a few days later he refuses to talk to me today he wouldnt even answer a text or phone call about my sons well child check and told me its to difficult to find time to see each other. He lives with his grandmother who when I had to drop my sons off there once pushed my daughter and knocked her over. My daughter cried the whole time we were in the car. She didnt know she couldnt just follow my 2 year old in the house that she had lived in. We lived there until my husband kicked me out and she is 4 to her it was home and she had never not been aloud in before.
    mrssmitley1210

    Comment by mrssmitley1210 (original poster) at 12:17 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • That is so wrong of him and his grandmother. You need to just move on from him and assholes in general. Just take care of your kids and be a good mom and when the time is right God will send you someone wonderful. In the mean time don't let anyone push your babies around you defend them because all they have is you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • My heart is breaking for you little girl. I hope you meet someone nice who will treat her like a princess so she never feels that no one wants to be her daddy. (((((HUGS)))))
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 12:53 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Just tell her that good Daddies are hard to find and it isn't her time yet. I went through this with my son and thats what I told him. I hope it works out for you.
    sweetangie79

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 1:45 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • wow.. am so sorry she is dealing with this at such a young age.. that just sucks.. my heart is breaking for her.. hold her when she cries and love her when she's mad and reassure her as she gets older that not all men are assholes.. but i'd tell that bitch she touch your daughter again you'll lay her out flat...
    girlglow6

    Answer by girlglow6 at 1:51 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

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