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If you have more then 2 biological children?? adult content

What made you decide to have more children? Why didn't you choose to adopt?

If you have over 4 children, what were your reasons?

I personally come from a family of 8, so it's no big deal to me, and I'm being judgmental sure, but it's not like I'm judging you any more then I judge my own mother. My Dh and I decided that we'd have two kids, and then one of us would get snipped. If we decide later on that we wish to expand our family, then we'd adopt or choose to become foster parents... with so many unwanted children in the world, we figured this was the most responsible choice.

 
Flippindadaisie

Asked by Flippindadaisie at 6:22 AM on Jun. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,426 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I'm sure some could ask a similar Q except: "If you have more than 1 biological child..." lol

    I have 3 children and our 2nd pregnancy turned out to be twins. So we got a bonus baby by default. (It also wasn't a planned pregnancy; it was due to one time not preventing @ a not-too-fertile time, and we accepted the risk but we weren't actively trying.) We were pretty much decided on a 2nd child, though, had been going back & forth on the pros & cons for awhile and were ambivalent but had decided. My plan as of right then was to take time to get healthier & be proactive about preconception just as I had been with our 1st, so I was "planning" to conceive, just not trying to at the time that we did.

    Were you seriously thinking that it's likely you WILL decide to expand your family later on, and that you will plan to do so through adopting or fostering? Or was that more of a remote possibility, & this plan answered that "what if"?
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:59 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • It is very hard to adopt. I know that I would not be ideal for trying to raise a child who needs help.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 6:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I personally wouldn't want more than the two children I have now, but if you can handle raising more and are financially able to do so then more power to you
    DianeMary

    Answer by DianeMary at 6:45 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I have 3 children and to be honest none of them were planned. After our 3rd child was born my DH and I talked and although I would have had one more child he didn't want anymore and he got a vasectomy. We have talked about adopting another child and then our youngest got sick and we have been dealing with that. I come from a family of 4 and I had a great life growing up. We were never rich, although we never wanted for anything and had a great time. My DH and I are able to care for all our children and I would not change a thing. I think everyone does what is best for them and people shouldn't judge just because I have 3 children. My DH works very hard to support us, I own my own business and we have a wonderful happy life.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:42 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Adopting isn't for everyone. I think it takes a very special person to open their heart like that.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 7:13 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • We have 5 kids, 1 boy and 4 girls, ages 8,5,4,1 and 6 monthes... we love kids, we believe that we were supposed to have em, I enjoy eery moment with them, and yes God influences my choices ( Catholic)..... We plan to have at least 1 more. My Dh is a life soldier, and will retire after 20-25 years, he chose this job to make sure he coul support us well, we do well, we have to budget and pull our finances to get things done sometimes, but we have what weneed and allot of what we want... I would never change my mind... or change my choice
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 8:19 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I have been pregnant 4 times and have 3 living children. When hubs and I were dating I told him I wanted between 2-4 kids, he said maybe 2. So when we were ready to start a family we had our 1st, and 2 yrs later #2 came along. We thought we were done, and then in 2004 we had a 'surprise' (although that ended in loss). After the loss we decided that we did want 1 more child to complete our family. In 2006 our last was born, and we are not having any more children (had a tubal when #3 was born).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:32 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • We have three biological children- two were planned, one was a surprise. We had looked into adoption when we were first ttc and experiencing some fertility problems- after some research it wasn't something that we felt we could afford, and there were some strikes against us that we thought might hinder our being adoptive parents (my history of depression, for instance, was a black mark against us for some agencies we looked into.) I've got lots of respect for those who are foster parents- my dh's aunt was a foster mom in the hopes of adopting and she did eventually adopt a little boy who she had in foster care, but not before losing two other children that she tried to adopt who eventually were returned to biological parents instead. It was very hard for her because she loved those kids, but ultimately they weren't hers and she wasn't in control of where they stayed, who got custody, etc.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 10:23 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Well, it's hard to adopt nowadays, not to mention outrageously expensive! Plus, I just felt the biological need to have more kids. I have 4, but would have had at least 6, only DH feels it's just right with 4. I'm starting to agree with him the older the youngest gets. lol
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:39 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Adoption isn't for everyone, it is chatastrophically expensive, many can't afford it. I have 5 children. I do not consider myself irresponsible, no more than owning a pure bred dog rather than getting a pound puppy...it doesn't make me a bad person. I personally think adoption is a wonderful thing, and if I could afford the process, and had room, I would adopt no problem. To each their own. I had a tubal, if a situation presented itself, and we thought we could provide a home for a child we would.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:42 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

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