Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Step-parenting issues

My boyfriend and I are trying to create a blended family. I have a 2 year old son and he has a 4 year old daughter. We argue often about how we discipline the kids. He gets really defensive of his daughter and I may be doing the same. We are able to talk about our argument afterwards in a calm and mature way, but the issue always returns. I am wondering how other moms deal with this situation? Thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by CasperMom2008 at 1:07 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • That goes from relationship to relationship. You have to give gradually and take gradually. I have issues with my DH about things with our children....his...mine...and ours together. But i have to pick my battles too. Is it worth a big fight?? Some decisions obviously are. But, not all of them. The main things is that BOTH children are treated the same by each parent. As hard as it is, you cant favor yours, and he cant favor his. Good luck!!

    Answer by mlmkjw at 1:09 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • i have a step son and being the step parent can be a blessing and curse. when it comes to disciplinning. Discuss crime and punishment then carry out sentence with both parents in the room, and when u speak to the child u must say we came to this decision so they see both parents have authority. when u warn the child say your parent and i will be disciplinning u latter. but to be respectful each should handle thier own but on small situations let the step parent say what needs to be said so no one toes r stepped on and the child sees the balance of power

    Answer by lmelecio1985 at 1:15 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Does his child live with you? My husband has 3 kids from a previous, and they dont live with us. When they come over, they have full range of anything they want. He doesn't discipline at all b/c he feels bad since he doesn't see them that often. That's literally what he told me. So I am miserable in my own house with our kids, while his kids come over and do whatever they want. We've battled this issue for 3+ years already, it hasnt gotten better since he doesnt do anything about it. Like the previous poster said, choose your battles. Is it worth it to argue? I stopped wasting my breath...

    Answer by SweetPieMama24 at 1:34 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • In my blended household, most decisions on crime and punishment have allready been discussed. For those that havent or we feel need handling differently..... well, theres a standing rule in the house that no matter what either parent thinks we must back up the other in front of the kids. Only behind closed doors can we discuss our dislikes and disagreements in this matter. That helps, because we dont argue in front of the kids and so our authority remains unquestionable. It also helps us to cool off and prepare our case. We dont fight very often, we discuss/debate. That is followed by compromise. If we cant agree on somthing than niether of us get what we want, and we have to come up with an option C, so it behooves us to compromise!

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 1:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • i love my step daughter i just wish her mom was diff then she is. i treat her like she is my own

    Answer by alw06tchs at 4:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.