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4 Bumps

A family vacation without all of the kids ?

I have made another question about my daughter in law and a problem I was having with her ( i think this was around january) , we moved past that problem, and I have been trying my darndest to get along with her.

Some background is, her and my son started dating last year, she had already been married twice and already had 2 sons ( who are now 2 and 3 years old) and since their fathers have both signed their rights over, my son stepped up as daddy, they got married and just recently had a little girl together.

The boys I am very close to, they are my grandsons, my son is also there daddy - he does everything for them and he HONESTLY spends more time with them than she does. He also goes to work 12 hours a day, comes home and cleans and makes supper ( and she wont deny that he does this ) ...

Now the problems I have had with her before is that she kept telling me that when the baby came she didnt want anyone to treat the baby differently than the boys, I tried to tell her that everyone loves the boys but since she is a newborn and the first girl in the family she has to expect that alot of family memebers will be excited to see her. This led to her keeping me from the baby, but still dropping the boys off everyday when my son went to work... It got to the point to where i would invite them all over for dinner, her, my son and the boys would show up but she had gotten a babysitter for the baby , and she said she was doing this all because " it isnt fair to the boys"... she is so worried about things being unfair to the boys that she is being unfair to the baby

Also, she just makes a point of family being unfair to the boys, when in fact she is a stay at home mom to the baby -- she sends the boys to my house or to day care , how is that being fair?

Well now i have been asked if i could ( finally) watch the baby... of course I said yes but then I found out it will be for 10 days straight ! ..... They are going on a FAMILY vacation but dont want to take the baby because " it is not fair to the boys" .... how in the world is that fair ???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (28)
  • The baby is part of the family, I agree. That is completely wrong.

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 1:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • It is not a family vacation w/o the whole family. imo Have you sat down and discussed all this with her? Have you mentioned how she is so worried about the boys being singled out that she is the one now singling out her dd?

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • How old is the baby? If I had a baby under a year old, I'd more than likely want her to stay with family while I took the older kids somewhere. Wouldn't have anything to do with wanting to be fair to the older kids depending on where the vacation was.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:41 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • yeah i have tried to expalin it to her as nicely as I can...she just stars at me with a blank stare and then later on I will get a call from my son saying that she is upset and I need to stay out of it....

    How am i suppose to stay out of it , those are my grandkids and they bring me into it...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:42 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Um. Why doesn't your son stand up for his daughter?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • the baby is only 7 weeks... I understand it being easier to not take a baby on vacation but i also think it is silly to use the excuse that the reason they arent taking her is because it it "unfair" to the boys...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Thats very strange? I would have said her issue was either a GU problem or postpartum or both...but if she wants to leave the baby for 10 days??? I can understand not wanting to take an infant on vacation. I dont take the toddlers everytime because they ruin the big boy fun for our oldest, but this is never more than a weekend trip! I also take the toddlers places without thier big brothe, because I know he wouldnt be interested. I think you should ask your son, and take whatever he says at face value. No point in stirring this pot, there might be a hornets nest in there!

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 1:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • well on this "case" he at first said she was going , he wanted her too because it would be their first family vacation and i remember him even talking about getting the baby's pciture with some of the sights they will see.... they started arguing with it on fathers day at the cookout , and i guess continued to argue about it until he called to ask if I would babysit

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:47 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Refuse to watch that baby - She's 7 weeks old and still needs to bond with her mother and father. And they either wait to take a vacation OR take her with them. End of story!

    Sounds like your DIL is having issues with the way your family treats her sons. She should have known that while you do love her other children, this is your first biological grandchild and a granddaughter to boot. She needs to get off her high horse and be glad that she found a man that accepted her with her "baggage" and a family that loves them too.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:51 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Wow I could not leave my 7 week old baby for 10 days. Serious bonding time would be missed.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

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