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What is the right thing to do

I have a 19 year old stepson hes outof school and he does not stay here but i still do his dirty laundry and he still has evrything in his room and i got 3 boys of my own and they share a room i need some advice on what to do

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wvmom81458

Asked by wvmom81458 at 1:50 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Talk to your husband. That is his son not yours. That is the first place I would start.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:52 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • tell him to do his own laundry - offer to teach him. Then tell him he has X amount of time to get his shit out of his old room or it will be disposed of (or if you are feeling nice you could move it to storage for X amount of time) Talk with your husband about it and come up with a plan you both agree on and present a united front
    nurse_maya

    Answer by nurse_maya at 1:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • time for him to rent a building to keep his stuff in or put it in a garage/basement somewhere- you need that room and if he isn't living there, he doesn't need it. Maybe just ask him?
    2teens2LOs

    Answer by 2teens2LOs at 1:54 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I agree. I would talk to your husband - his dad. If he isn't living there, there is no reason that room can't be utilized more effectively.
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 1:54 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • He's 19. he should have been doing his laundry long ago.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:55 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Thank you for all the advice everytime i try to talk to husband about it we end up in a argument
    wvmom81458

    Comment by wvmom81458 (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • You need to talk with your husband and then your step son together. He is still part of the family even though he's not your's thru birth. Perhaps everything could be boxed up and stored in the basement. At the same time the 3 that are sharing a room deserve to be able to spread out a bit. You say that he's no longer there so is there a reason that he can't take his things with him?

    As far as laundry I'd offer to teach him and then if he doesn't have a machine tell him what days he could come to the house and use yours. For now I'd be generous and share soap & dryer sheets as you're already telling him to move out of the room. You can afford to be generous there.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • if you've raised this kid, step son or not, he's your son, and if hubby refuses to say anything then obviously he expects you to say something to him.. and if that causes an argument with hubby, tell him he should have said something when you tried to talk to him about it.. hate to say it but if your doing his laundry then kiddo thinks your his mom too, so be his mama...
    girlglow6

    Answer by girlglow6 at 2:09 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • If the boy doesn't live there then you are wasting space and electric in that unused room. After I moved out my mom would do my luandry but I didn't have a W/D and she & I had an arrangement. I'm sorry that you guys get into an arguement but you need to talk this out. Do you know why hubby doens't want to give up that room to the other boys?
    onix

    Answer by onix at 3:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Quit doing his laundry. He's old enough to do his own. In fact, if they can safely load the washing machine, ALL children are old enough to do their own laundry.

    As for his room - store his crap and move your kids around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

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