Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I want to leave but Im scared.

Last night my daughter wet the bed for the 4th time this week. She is 3 and a half. My husband yelled at her told me he was going to whoop her the next time it happens(we do not spank at all). She sleeps with us part of the night especially if she gets cold by herself. If she is warm she stays in her bed. Our blanket was soaked and we only had one other blanket and he lied down on the floor with it. I walked in after putting my daughter to sleep in her room and I got upset since I am 6 months pregnant and had no blanket. I made a comment stating since I need a blanket and dont have one I might as well have a party and turn the tv on staying up all night. He jumped up and put his hands on my throat and starting yelling at me at how pissed off I have been making him. All I could do is cry. I told him I want him to leave and he didnt (he has told me a couple times he wants me to pack my stuff and leave). Then we went to sleep because I hate arguing. During the night he ended up holding my belly and in the morning he kissed me goodbye before he left for work ( I just sat there with no feelings). I don't want to leave my husband especially since I am 6 months pregnant. What am I going to do? Should I wait untill he hits me? Has anyone ever been through this? I love him and just writing this is making me cry. Im so depressed. All the bills are in my name and most of our debt is in my name. He barely makes ends meet running his own business and he smokes in front of my daughter and I. I feel like he is controlling me and has no regard for my feelings. He doesnt do anything for me but keep bills paid. I do everything by myself at home and run all of the errands after he gets home from work. :sigh: I wish this decision was a lot easier to make. I've already made up my mind if he does something again I will leave but Im not sure if I should leave now.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Putting his hands around your neck...that should be the sign its time to leave. What if next time he won't let go? You don't want to take that chance! I'm not saying to divorce (yet), but leave. Find a safe place and tell him if he wishes to stay married, he needs to get help and NOW.

    Please do NOT put up with that abuse anymore!
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Hes already put his hands on you...the next thing he'll do it hit you...I'd leave especially since you're 6 months pregnant. Go stay with family or a friend, or just something other than him. Its not a good situation for you, or your 3 year old, or you unborn child..
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 2:54 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Honey, you are already being abbused. Him putting his hands around your throat was the signal that it is time for you and your dd to leave, file charges and get a restraining order. He also threatened to beat your child. When that happens, are you going to sit there and cry about that too and not do anything? He will hit you, he will hit your dd and he will hit your new baby. He isn't going to change and you have to get out now. If everything is in your name, pack his stuff and leave it on the front lawn. Change the locks and call the cops when he shows up cause there is going to be some serious drama. If you can't do that, then pack a bag for you and dd and go to the nearest dv shelter and get help. This is only going to get worse, not better. He won't change and you sitting there letting it happen will only tell him that you will put up with anything he does no matter what. What more does it take for you to see?
    Sithpadawans

    Answer by Sithpadawans at 2:56 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • If you let him get away with this and not leave it'll get worse and he'll think he can do it again if not worse. trust me i know. leave and leave him to think about his actions and he needs help.
    shar-hulk

    Answer by shar-hulk at 3:04 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • "He jumped up and put his hands on my throat"

    Consider yourself lucky to be ALIVE to write this. You do not wait EVEN ONE MORE SECOND.

    It IS an easy decision. Stay and die, leave and live. I do mean that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I have been through the same thing Leave!!!! If he really love u he will miss u and change to get u back......Dont wait !!! what if doesnt hit u and hit hits ur daughter u can never take that back.......if he get away with what he already has done u give him the green light to do more!!!!!!!!
    bymyself

    Answer by bymyself at 3:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Abuse isn't always physical, it's sometimes mental. I know because I've grown up with any abusive step-parent. The bruises are gone, but the emotional and mental scars are still here. They have affected my marriage and how I sometimes deal with my kids. There are times I am so outraged, for lack of a better word, at my mom for staying there for so long and making me have to live through that.

    GET OUT!!!! Take you and your daughter and get out. I take it, that she isn't his. Find someone that you can stay with that can help you out. Do you/are you able to have a job? Don't forget to there are shelters and hotlines. Call them or visit them.

    Be careful about changing locks or putting him out. It could be considered spousal abandonment. Call an attorney that handles family law so you know what you can and can't do.
    onix

    Answer by onix at 3:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Get out if you do not feel safe. You have two kids to consider and not just you anymore. I know your scared. I am scared since my husband has never hit me but he thinks since he works and I am a house wife he can control the money, the house, the kids, etc. I have not worked in 10years and I am about to hit the work force with arms open wide to provide for my kids since going through a divorce. I know hard but better for me and my family. Write me anytime you need a friend and I will write back. If ever you feel that you or your kids not safe then get out. It will be hard at first but you can do it. I do not think right now happy and deserve to be happy so do what is right for you and be safe my friend.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 3:22 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • You are a complete idiot if you are staying. You are going to end up hurt and your daughter may end up dead if he is threatening to whoop your daughter for wetting the bed. Obviously there is something else wrong with your daughter. Maybe a therapist is what your kid needs??
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 3:28 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • LEAVE HIM NOW! Don't stay with him you're better than that!
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 4:05 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN