Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Really, he can't provide them a bed?

So my kids (3 of them) called from my ex's house, they have been there for 2 days. My ex is remarried to a woman with 4 kids (only 3 are there, one is grown) and they have 2 together, all the kids are there and will be for the next 4 weeks. Meaning there are 8 children in a 2 bedroom apartment. His wife doesn't have custody of 2 of her children (only her 15 year old DD) so the other 2 are only there 6 weeks a year which is why they only have 2 bedrooms. So apparently, the sleeping arrangements are: my 2 girls ages 14 and 11 and sleeping in the room that is usually used by the 2 they have together and her 15 year old (they are twin 5 year olds) with her 15 year old. So my girls are on the floor (since the 15 is in a twin bed and the twins have bunk beds, there is not even room to put a blow up mattress. Then my son is out in the living room with her sons. My son is 7, her's are 13 and 17. Since her's are older and are there longer, one gets the fold out couch while the other gets the recliner while my son is on the floor. My kids are very upset because there is just no room and also they are the only ones on the floor. I called my lawyer to see if I could legally do anything for them (insist on at least a blow up mattress was my idea). He told me that my ex is legally required to provide some kind of bed for them and also that 5 children in one bedroom is against DCF's regulations. He advised me to send my ex an email about this, to see if that would fix the problem. I sent him an e-mail telling him the kids are upset about being on the floor and that especially since 2 of them have scoliosis, them sleeping on the floor for 4 weeks could really hurt their backs. He told me if I didn't like it, call DCF. I think I might as, according to my lawyer, they would give him 48 hours to provide beds for them at least or they will be sent to their custodial parent's homes (IDK if they will do anything about the apartment being so overcrowded). I am not terribly picky, last year, they moved the twins in with them and my DD's used the twin's beds and my son slept on another recliner in the living room, that they have since gotten rid of. Still, it was overcrowded but I just told them to make the best of it but now, with 8 children and 2 adults and my 3 are the only ones without a bed or something like a bed to sleep on, that is just crazy. Would you contact DCF knowing that they have the authority to fix the problem?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (27)
  • I'd have already done so.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I would definitely try to fix the problem first between you and your children's father. The fact that his kids are upset should be enough to fix the issue!

    If it isn't, I would maybe educate your ex about your findings, allow him a reasonable timeline to get the issue resolved before the next visit. If he gets nasty with you, then contact DCF.

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 2:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I wouldn't have stopped to ask on here. That's way too many kids in that small of a place.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Without hesitation. That is crap!

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 3:00 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Thanks everyone, I just don't want to be that crazy ex who makes problems at every turn just because I can. I was thinking if it was only a week or so that would be one thing BUT 4 weeks???? Also, I found out that my ex could be evicted if his landlord found out how many people were there for that long

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • IMO the parents should sleep on an air matress in the liing room and then split the kids in the 2 rooms. the twins can share a bed which would leave 1 bed open in the kids room and the 13 yo and 17 yo can share the bed in the other room and they can get a twin air matress for your son...try and give them a solution to the problem and maybe they will fix it then?

    Answer by happymama02 at 3:04 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I can see them having only a 2 bedroom and if that' all they can afford they shouldn;t have to get a biger place for a few wks. out of the yr.

    Answer by happymama02 at 3:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • don't contact CPS... there goes the jump to the aw crap, how about talking to him/them like an adult, maybe they cant fit 3 more beds in there, come up with a pan like exchanging 2 beds for bunk beds...etc. There are other ways to deal with things rather than waste the states time and money on things not worth calling on, believe it or not there are kids who actually need help.... sorry but SOOOOO tired of the cps shit!


    Answer by JoLee12345 at 3:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • You could sound vindictive and might come across that way if you call them, but you can try and I do see your point. I have had to call on my ex and I had a lawyer and they said it was a custody issue, he told them I was just a bitch, and they closed the case. You can try though. Maybe you would have better luck.

    Answer by gemgem at 3:09 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I only plan on calling DCF if my ex won't do anything about it. As I said, 2 have scoliosis so having them sleeping on the floor for 4 weeks could do some serious damage

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.