Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

9 Bumps

I am a lousy mother.

For the past 3 years we have been unable to have birthday parties for our kids. Not even a backyard barbeque. Can't afford it. I bake cupcakes, but thats just by the skin of my teeth. I've been doing everything I can to reduce and cut costs in our house, still bleeding money.

My kids have now gotten to a point where they don't even attempt to ask for anything. My son's birthday came and you know what he said to me, " Could we afford those cupcakes mommy? I know we have to pay bills." My baby is 9. 9!!

I feel so low. Less than. Just disgusting. How could I let them down like this? They deserve a celebration of the day they were born.

I feel so lousy. I think i'm just going to finish dinner and lay down. I don't even really have a question. Sorry if this makes someone angry.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Thats really sad but sometimes people have hardship in there lives. Dont give up and just do what you can for your kids. They will understand and it sounds like they already do. This is also going to teach your kids the value of a dollar. Keep your head up everything will turn out.

    Answer by Aleighasmom09 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I am sorry........... so sorry... What about using anything..even Funny papers and cutting it and making decorations to tape up...also we do many things to cut costs in our home..we make our own Laundry soap ( google duggar laundry soap recipe)..we share one phone for me and DH, we dont have cable....we dont buy new cars, we do everything we can to cut corners and try and make life easier....I pray God intercedes for your son and this birthday can be enjoyable! Message me and let me know your address! I will help!

    Answer by tiffmomofmany at 7:33 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Ok for one YOU ARE NOT A LOUSY MOTHER!!! Get that out of your vocabulary. You are doing the best you can with what you have, yes it doesn't seem fair & I'm sure it must break your heart but you will get through this & things will get better. Think positive in all things no matter how bad they get sweetie & i know that's easier said than done but it will pay off in the long run.

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 7:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • You are NOT a lousy mother. Another mom just suggested she was going to have a hiking party. Could you possibly go to a park for free for a day and make a big bug hunt for your kids? I know you can't afford for any other kids.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 7:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • No you're not

    Answer by 3lilANGELS236 at 7:43 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I want to point are doing something right. It sounds like you have a very compassionate, loving, and understanding little boy. He knows times are tough and he understands that.

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 7:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I am sorry to hear about you problem. Try a local food bank and they do sometimes hand out things for birthdays. Try barnes or nobles or some resturats where you can sign your kids up for free birthday items. I know not from you but it is the thought that counts. Hang in there and I am sure brighter days will be ahead for you and your family. Do not drag yourself over this you are a good mother.

    Answer by momindiana at 7:50 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I am so sorry, times are tough,, is there anything you could do to make extra money? I think your amazing, even in the fact that your worried about it,, hugs to you momma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:02 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • You aren't a bad mother. As long as your children are getting what they need and feel loved then you are excelling. Life isn't about what you can buy them, but the experiences they have and the values you instill in them. Have you thought about approaching either of your parents assuming they live close and seeing if they will fund a small party/celebration for your kids and you can repay them by doing things around the house. You could also allow the child to pick their favorite meal for dinner as a birthday treat.

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 8:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • NO!! NO!! NO!! You are not a bad mom, my son goes to Childrens Hospital every month for ct/mri's the bills not covered by medicade went to collections and now i have to pay out of pocket so i sold my car.....THIS TOO SHALL PASS, it does not ever make you a bad mother parenting comes from the heart and you sound like your heart is huge!!!!!! I bet those are some bad a** cupcakes so never ever be ashamed!!!!!! YOU HEAR THAT MAMA! :) :) Smile girl its all good, promise!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by austinpierce at 7:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2011