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Letting a possibly HIV Person stay in your home, would you?

my cousin and I are fairly close. He is gay and after him and a guy stopped messing around he heard thru the grapevine that this guy was possibly HIV positive. My cousin is too scared to check, I'm urging him to find out. Anyway he lives in another state, and when he comes to visit for a wk he stays with my SO and I everytime. It doesn't bother me that he's here but every once in a while I get kinda weirded out about him possibly using our soap or something. Then I shake the feeling and get over it. U have never told my SO about the possibility of him being HIV positive for fear of his reaction but he's really cool with my cousin. Anyway how would you feel? Would it bother you? I didn't think it would even cross my min but I won't lie it has.

And for all you bashers don't judge me. I am allowed to speak my mind I'm not bashing him, I love him and I don't treat him differently. So save it if your going to assume.

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ProudMammaMia

Asked by ProudMammaMia at 9:05 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Yeah he would be welcome in my home.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:07 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Yes, I would. You can't get HIV/AIDS from him using your soap, shower, sleeping in your bed or being in your house. You should do some research so you aren't so scared. I would keep encouraging him to get tested. He could be just fine. He will have to be tested every 3-6 months for a certain amount of time. A person who is HIV positive can live for decades and not develop full blown AIDS.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • It wouldn't bother me. I know how HIV is spread and having a visitor for a week isn't one of them.
    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 9:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • HIV is spread through bodily fluid. He can safely use the soap and toilet without anyone in the house contracting anything. As long as he is taking precautions as far as of he ever bleeds and he is cleaning it up himself there should be no problems. I would not worry. It would be fine with me as long as he was practicing good hygiene.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • If he bleeds I would break out the rubber gloves and bleach to do a very good clean up, assuming that it spilt anywhere. I've done the same for friends who have Hep C.

    I would be honest with everyone about the risk. Your dh should know.

    Otherwise, I wouldn't have a problem with him.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:11 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Yes, I would ask that he know for him to stay in my home. It does put you and your family at risk if there were any accidents. I would ask him to bring his own soap too, even if he didn't have HIV lol
    Obviously your not going to stop loving him, but the safety of your family should be your first and foremost priority. GL with that decision....only you can make if for yourself. Oh, and I wouldn't keep it from your SO no matter if you know or not....that's just as bad as someone with HIV not telling their sexual partner. It's deceitful and they deserve to make a decision for themselves and their safety!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I think that society has truly made AIDS/HIV sound so scary that we are naturally afraid of humans with the disease. However, it's EXTREMELY difficult to contract HIV if you aren't primarily exchanging the fluids with needles, sex, etc. Him using your toilet or bed or soap or dishes will not make you get HIV. And I do believe that if there were to ever be a point that you crossed bodily fluids with him, they have some sort of shot now that can prevent the infection from entering your body if you get it fast enough....

    Now for the sake of your cousin, I would urge you to convince him to get tested. He is only hurting himself and the people he loves by not getting tested. Is he still having sex? That's a scary thought to think of him running around not knowing he has such an infectious disease. Not to mention many people do not even develop AIDS if their HIV is treated in a timely fashion.
    mamanature

    Answer by mamanature at 9:12 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I know how it's contracted, but even so sometimes my mind will wonder an get a little scared. He doesn't practice the best hygiene either so which totally caught me offguard because he's stayed with me quite a few times and this last time he well....stunk...very bad. He took a shower every other day which is fine for some people but not with him. It's like he let himself go or something. But any other way he's just the same. Without being rude I tried to get him in the shower more often but it was pretty horrible smelling. He also slept in his clothes and would wake up brush his teeth and use the same clothes. Anyway something is different, maybe he's depressed but anyway this post wasn't about all of that. Lol

    Just wanted to know what OTHERS feel about letting a possible HIV person in there home
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 9:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • I wouldn't have any issue at all. I'm well aware of how HIV is spread and the presence of an HIV+ individual in my home doesn't put me at any risk unless there is bloodshed- in which case, break out the bleach and rubber gloves then all will be well.

    A couple years ago, I lived with a woman who was stage 4 full blown AIDS. We did have a bloodshed incident, which was appropriately contained and cleaned up. Guess what? No one else was infected. It is truly a lot harder to become infected with HIV than the media would have you believe... Hell, it's easier to get herpes or crabs simply trying on clothes at a department store!

    Just make your DH aware and do a little reading so you know *IF* there was any bloodshed, how to appropriately contain it and clean it. Not a big deal.

    FYI- Tell your cuz to get tested. Really. It is NOT a big deal, it is irresponsible NOT to.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • My x boyfriends gay brother lived with us for a couple of months, I wasn't worried about it. I'll admit though, I did develop a healthy fear of his toothbrush after he told me his gums would bleed when he brushed them :-/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

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