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4 Bumps

I dont want to change my man, i want to accept his messy ways

how do i do that

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lizzybee44

Asked by lizzybee44 at 10:34 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Take anti anxiety meds lol
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:35 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • YOU have to change YOUR attitude if you want to stay with him. Men don't change. LOL. Sorry.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 10:35 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • so somewhere between OCD and "F this" should be my attitude
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Well you can accept it to a point, but when we come together as a couple we also have to consider the other person, people do not change as such unless they want to, but for a minor thing like this, peopel can make more of an effort to be a little tidier, he will only do what you put up with as well, if you clean up after him constantly from the beginning, he will expect that, men are like children, if you make a stand earlier in the piece you will be better off, good luck!
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Depends on what you call messy. Need more info.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • k sort of like this, not extreme but little room, and too much for my liking

    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 10:56 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Would drive me absolutely out of my mind. If my S/O asks if such and such is washed and I ask if it was in the hamper, if it wasn't then NO it's not clean. If he wants it ironed, better have been in the hamper and washed. I got lucky, my S/O went in the Marines when were married at 17 and when he got out they had him pretty much trained for me. He does get things in the hamper, but over the years he has gotten into the habit of putting some of his shorts on a chair at my desk, not in the hamper, not washed. Same with some of his T-shirts, want them clean, put them where they belong. I'm your wife not your Mother you need to tell him, and your also not his maid.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:13 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • no you will never accept it you will just deal with it....sometimes when im cleaning after him i dont even say anything because ill just waste my breath...tomorrow hes gonna do the exact same thing =( hugs
    KColeman90

    Answer by KColeman90 at 11:23 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • One of the best books on marital relationships I have ever read is "Love is a Decision" by Gary Smalley. It is a great book! Give it a try. He's a Christian author, but his method would work for non-Christians as well.
    One tip he says is, whatever you'd like your husband to BE, start praising him for any little step he takes towards the ultimate goal. This is basic, and even works for kids to a lesser degree.The trick is to keep it subtle. For instance, if you wish your DH were more romantic, then if he does some tiny little thing that might be romantic, you say,"Oh, that is so sweet! I just love how romantic you are!" HE feels great, and he's going to want to feel great again. Next time he's thinking about something, he'll remember that you love romance, and he might bring you flowers or chocolates.
    So, if you wish he were a little neater, you praise him if he put a dirty dish in the sink, or put his socks in the hamper
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 11:24 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • oh i absolutely love "love is a decision"
    read it numerous times :) thank u !~
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 11:26 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

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