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8 Bumps

Missing my hubby terribly...

My dh and I have been seperated for a year and though I've moved forward and made a lot of positive changes in my life...I'm starting to really miss him. I have gotten to where I just go to work and come home and sleep. I only interact with my kids and shut evryone else out. I believe we could work our marriage out but there's the other woman. She moved in when he moved me out. I have nothing against her...I just want my family back. Please tell me how I should handle this situation.

Answer Question
 
soldierluvr0407

Asked by soldierluvr0407 at 11:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (184 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It sounds like your options are limited to moving on. If he moved her in when he moved you out, they have been living together for a year. It sounds serious and like he has already moved on. I'm sorry.
    marybeth927

    Answer by marybeth927 at 11:11 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • First, talk to your DH. Take him some place neutral - not your house, not his. Just the two of you. Lay it all out. Tell him exactly how you feel. Use "I statements, which are facts, and never "you" statements, which can come off as accusatory. I-statements are like, "I feel _________." You-statements are like, "You always ________, or "You never __________." Tell him, "I feel so lonely without you. I really miss you. I think we could work out our issues. Is there a chance for us?" The trouble is, you are opening up yourself to hurt. He might just laugh in your face and tell you how close he is to the other woman. However, often times the new relationship wears old, and the problems he had in the first relationship (lack of communication) begin to pop up in the new relationship as well. He might be ready to dump her and take you back.
    Now.... if he rejects you, you have your answer. Then you have other things (continued)
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 11:14 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Sorry sweetie but he has moved on, you need to do the same think about you & your kids & I know you are going to meet a nice guy who will make you happy. I know heart breaks aren't easy & when you still have feelings for someone & know their with someone else it hurts, Just take it a day at a time & time will heal all & help forget. ((HUGS))
    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 11:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • That you have to work on. It's time to work on "getting over him" and discovering the new you. You need to make some changes. You sound depressed. Maybe speak with your doctor about getting medication. Or speak with a homeopathic health care provider for diet and lifestyle changes to deal with depression without drugs.
    You need to find something of interest outside of work and family. You need friendship. Take up a class in something. Community education programs are budget friendly, you don't have to spend thousands for a college course. But DON'T do an online course, because you need to get out and meet people. Join a YMCA or fitness center. Start exercising. I'm not saying you need it, I can't see you, but exercise can lift your mood. And it's all about making yourself someone loveable. Learn to love yourself, and some nice man will one day love you, too.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 11:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • P.S. Don't listen to Lorele it's been a year & he has been with his new GF for a year so don't lower yourself to him, just let it go & try not to close yourself from the world actually being around your fam or friends helps alot, go out with your girls & try & meet guys live your life sweetie life is too short enjoy it especially with your kids =)
    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 11:21 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • hope it goes well
    taratennant60

    Answer by taratennant60 at 7:24 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Sounds like you need to get out there and find someone else. If you've been apart a year and he's still out there with someone else... sorry but just move on.
    Flippindadaisie

    Answer by Flippindadaisie at 10:14 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • It's ok to put your feelings out there but chances are very small that your ex feels the same, especially if he's never expressed these feelings to you. Remember too that things may not be so amicable between you and his girlfriend after you say how you really feel...but that may not even really matter to you and that's fine. Even if he takes you back you still need to focus on yourself...go out and meet new, quality people. Frequent a local farmer's market, join a book club, whatever. Just make an effort to return to your center and good luck with everything.
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 10:34 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • This sounds like what I went through...we were separated for two years, questioning whether we should get back together and I was ultimately diagnosed with depression.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • If there is another woman involved with him, he is just not that into you ~ get out and circulate, circulate, circulate
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 5:30 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

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