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What do I do If my husband doesn't show love back and doesn't wants to have alone time with me?

Me and my husband has 3 children. We gotten married in 2006 and had children quick. we both wanted a family and loves being parents, but it seems thats all we are. I want to stay connected and have fun and passion with my husband. I feel hurt because he doesn't do anything special and loving with me. I thought when we got married he would be loving and love going out and have our mothers watch the kids but doesn't make the moves to do so. When we do go out, we talk about the kids but other than that we don't talk about anything else.

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mooreof3

Asked by mooreof3 at 12:24 AM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Have you expressed this concern with him? Sit down and talk about it? Good luck!
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 12:27 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Relationships are in a constant state of change. You are always either growing closer, or growing farther apart. Relationships never stay the same. Right now, you and your DH are moving apart. You don't do things together. You don't talk about anything except the kids. You can change this, and if you don't, your marriage may be in trouble! First, talk to him. See if he thinks there's a problem. Maybe he's perfectly happy the way things are! Maybe he's unhappy, but doesn't know how to bring it up.
    Next, start "date night". One night a week, you and DH must go out together and do something. Or send the kids out, and stay home together. But you have to have a couple of hours a week without the kids to build and strengthen your relationship. There are tons of things you could do on date night. Try a google search if you can't think of anything.
    Next, you can work on building up yourself! Take one class a year, or try (continued)
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 12:31 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • or try a new hobby once a year. Don't grow old and boring. Did you finish high school? If not, you can take those classes for free and get your GED. Most communities have a continuing education program for adults and the classes are really cheap and interesting. You might take photography, or short-story writing, or yoga. It doesn't really matter what you take, but by continuing your education, you keep your mind sharp. You become someone more interesting to be around. You feel better about yourself. And you are a great role model for your children. Also, your DH might be interested in taking a class WITH you! That's when it's really good.
    Finally, work on your physical self. Trim a few pounds if you have to. Exercise daily. Eat healthy. Mend your clothes, or keep them clean and fresh. Fix your hair nicely, and wear make up if you used to do that before you married. Be someone your DH is proud to call his wife.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 12:34 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • This reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Debra was getting frustrated bcz she was noticing that she & Ray didn't really have ANYTHING to talk about when they were alone together anymore. It definitely made her feel like they had nothing in common. I remember thinking to myself...gosh, I've been there before with my first husband. It's like....you just get stale, bored, nothing is new anymore.
    I feel for you and it sounds like LoreleiSieja has you covered very well for advice.
    I hope you can make it better!!!
    GL!!! :D
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 2:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • While this is one of your basic "needs", you will need to be the one to instigate it since he obviously isn't. Women are most times the one in the marriage to spark the romance that a marriage needs to survive. Most men will follow along if the wife is gentle & caring in her pursuits. Plan things sponstaneously, if possible. If you still have children at home, you will need to arrange care for them while you're away, of course but, most men LOVE it when their wive's plan romantic getaways. Getting away from it all allows you both to concentrate on each other and spark what you once had, before children. It helps to revitalize and recharge your marriage! Best wishes & good luck. It's definitely worth it, you'll see!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 9:49 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • You know, that is real common to just talk about the kids. PP has some good suggestions ~
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 5:24 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

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