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How can I reach her.

At 15 built like a brick house & beautiful. I try to protect her from everything, but it's destoying any possible bond as a mother & daughter relationship we could ever have. She destroys everything,lazy, disrespectful, sexually active & is driving me crazy. Everything is an open door for a fight. I want so much to be close with her but can't hardly stand to be around her. Tonight I heard her telling her boyfriend how much she hates me & wants me dead. I could really use some good tips of advise please????!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • this sounds like my teenage years. stop trying to protect her and let her make mistakes (not dangerous ones) you will lost your relationship with her and when she grows out of being a little shit you will both be left with a lot of regret. i am 1100 miles away from my mom and i wish i wasn't
    sophistcatdfury

    Answer by sophistcatdfury at 12:54 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • its puberty...you need to talk a lot! the problem at that age is that they dont know what they want, who they are...confused kids! i have the same with my 13 year old...most of the time she sits in her room doing nothing, watches t.v. and playing computer and busy with the phone..nothing else. if i ask her to help me with something its like, i'm bored or she walks away pretending that she did not hear what i said...sit down with her and try talking to her, conversation. not like a mom more as a friend...
    kea1313

    Answer by kea1313 at 12:58 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • If my kid did that, I would open up a can of whoop ass! Take away cell phone, tv, computer, ground her and see how she likes them apples!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Im a teenanger an She sounds exactly Like me, If I had a mom that cared I would love her, Well at the time I would hate her! but comfert her, bring up why shes doing whats shes doing tell her your concerns! trll her your really worried about her an that no matter what she does you will always be open armed at the end, yes us teenagers are handfuls but where the ones that need the most attention everyone may think we dont want to b botherd we like to be alone but truly not true we need to b loved an for people to show it! if you ingnore it an dont give a crap then yes things will get worse.
    LOv3lyMicaela

    Answer by LOv3lyMicaela at 1:48 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • You've let her get out of control. Now you're trying to lasso her back in. She's not having ANY of it.
    Why in the world did you let her get to the point where she is sexually active at 15yrs old? What are you mothers thinking? Just bcz the kids THINK their bodies are filled out and ready does NOT mean their minds are ready for such a HUGE matter in real life. In this, you have failed her for one thing. Just bcz everyone else is doing it....doesn't make it the right thing to do, good grief!
    It's a little late, she's defiant and has lost respect for you as a mother.
    I would grab her by the shirt collar and set some new rules.....lazy? no respect for property you buy her? wishing you dead? don't YOU see how immature she is in her mind yet? You need some serious counseling...CM is not going to help this situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • My first question is: do you have her on birth control? And I would ignore the comments by anonymous, they don't count if they aren't owned! Quit replacing the stuff that she destroys. Let her live without it for a while, until she gets a job and replaces it. It's obvious that you are living in a war zone. Back off a little, and watch for an opening. Then calmly discuss whatever is bothering her at that time, and offer your insight if she seems receptive. If not, just listen and let her get whatever it is off her chest. I've always kept an open channel of communicaton with my daughter. We don't always agree, but we are always friends. She just turned l8, and I think she would say that she's happy with our relationship too. Make sure you compliment your daughter when she does something right, any little thing. Let her know you appreciate her and love her unconditionally, and that you will always be there for her.
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 3:43 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Sophistcatfury has it dead on. Stop hovering. Also please make sure she has birth control. Don't constantly ask her what she's thinking or what she did that day. To us it sounds nice but to her it's probably nagging and annoying.
    kit_manson

    Answer by kit_manson at 6:06 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Commando parenting......no privilidges, no property except a bed, the food she eats, and the clothes on her back, and no freedom unless earned by positive behavior. She'll hate you, no doubt, but who gives a crap as long as she makes it through her teen years without getting pregnant, strung out on drugs, arrested, or worse. There's time for building a relationship once her behavior is under control. If you can't do, then send her somewhere where they can. Now is not the time to be her friend, it's time to do the hard part and be a parent.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 7:54 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Ya, I hate to say it but she sounds very spoiled! Time to crack down and be consistant.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 3:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • She is still just a child and you need to step up and act like a parent! Stop trying so hard to be her friend and punish her for the unacceptable behavior!! If that was my daughter she would be having no phone, no friends, no computer, no tv, no allowance, and no privacy. Not until she is respectful and has good grades.

    Whatever you do, dont back off. Obviously her behavior bothers you or you wouldnt complain about it. If you back off it will be your own fault when she gets pregnant, drinks too much and has to be hospitalized, or ends up a spoiled adult who no one likes. She is your child. You have a responsability to her and you cant just let her do whatever she wants.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 5:13 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

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