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2 Bumps

My son dosent want us TTC

I am getting married in a few months, and I have a 16 year old son, he asked me if John my fiancee and I were going to have any babies. I said "yep we want atleast two, we are going to wait a year or two though, are you excited about having a little brother or sister." He said that I was too old and that he wanted nothing to do with the babies and that he wouldnt even consider it his brother/sister. I am shocked and hurt what do I do?

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Asked by PortJeffHottie at 2:04 AM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Maybe things will change and he'll be more accepting when the time comes? I'm sorry mama, this is really hard. *hugs*

    Answer by bdflykisses at 2:08 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Not his choice. If you and your fiance want kids, have them. Don't let your teenager dictate your life. I would be shocked and hurt too and it would be hard to have one child who doesn't acknowledge the others but it's not up to him if you want to have more babies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Give him time. It must feel a bit difficult for him. Perhaps he's afraid you'll give them a better home than he had growing up and there's resentment. Try to hear his feelings on the matter - look between the lines. And let him know he'll always be your first-born son and the light of your life.

    My eldest boy was 18 when my youngest was born and he thought I was far too old to be making babies, but he adores her now and she loves him above everyone else (she's 2 now, he's turning 21). He carries her around and people think he's her daddy. It's so cute!!

    Answer by judimary at 2:11 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Yep, it's not his decision. I would tell him that what happens between a married man and woman is their business. Tell him you will still love him just as much as you always have, but he cannot dictate your relationship.

    Answer by VintageWife at 2:12 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Well, he'll be 18 so it doesn't really matter. Right now he sees that option as a threat but once he's out on his own and all that he'll be okay and you can start your 2nd family and focus on those children. Your son will adjust to being replaced.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • It's weird looking for a place to discretely breastfeed at your son's high school graduation! But very awesome having kids so far apart. Good luck.

    Answer by judimary at 2:15 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • My son felt the same way, He was very upset with me, but now he adores his little brothers. I was 47 when my last child was born and only 17 when my daughter was born. Just don't push it. Always invite him to birthday celebrations, even if he doesn't come. And let him know that you love him so much and that no one or nothing could change that or take anything from him. It's just that you want to share your heart and home with more people to love. Well, that's my advice anyway!

    Answer by MelissaCarole at 2:30 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • He is at that age where he is thinking about sex and in his mind his mom shouldn't be doing that! You don't need his permission but I'd be respectful of his feelings.

    Answer by CometGirl at 8:57 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Don't ask questions you don't want answers to! My kids are 13, 11, 10, 2 and 11 months. The older ones were not too excited about it when my husband and I had the little ones but they are great older siblings. Your son has a lot to adjust to in the coming years and I would take what he said with a grain of salt. Give him time, he'll come around.

    Answer by missanc at 4:38 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • It's not his choice and not one that he gets a vote in. He will be 18, in a couple years and can leave if he doesn't like what you and your husband decide to do. He will have to adjust to what YOU decide. And next time, don't ask him how he would feel.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:15 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

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