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3 Bumps

Baby fever is making me angry!

I was diagnosed with HPV related cervical cancer last year and had to under go a cervical cone biopsy. This Biopsy might as well have been called a cervix remover that would leave me with less than 30% of my cervix. (and who says a cheating husband can't kill you even years after a divorce?)

Anyway- My now DH and I have been wanting a baby and both have come to the conclusion that it just isn't going to happen after many, many months of trying. He had an accident as a teen that caused damage to his testicles and my cancer removal has made our odds very low. Being a low income family we can afford to have our own child, just not inverto, a surragant (sp?) or adoption.

Now, it seems like everyone I know is either pregnant or has a new baby under a year old and it's just making me angry! Example: DH and I would LOVE a baby and now I have a friend who "after one too many drinks one thing to another" ended up with a positive pregnancy test and swears she isn't sure she wants to keep the baby or who the father is (she is prochoice and I am prolife unless it will kill someone). I am just so angry that someone who had an "accident" ended up pregnant, yet, two people who really want kids can't have them!

I know this is normal and that there are other couples who have this same kind of problem.. how do they deal with this and not be angry all the time with others who are so careless or aren't thrilled at the idea of a baby? I'm not angry with my friend who are super excited about their soon to be child, only jealous and being jealous I can live with, it's the anger that is killing me!

Anonymously posted from a friends account,

The angry, wishful woman



Asked by Anonymous at 7:27 AM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I understand how frustrated you are. I have been wanting to have another child but DH is not ready. At the same time my so-called "friend" is getting ready to give birth and all she talks about is her pregnancy and the baby. But when I was pregnant she was so jealous and made it abundantly clear that she did not want to hear about anything I had to say. I'm sorry it's been such a struggle for you. I also contracted HPV from my husband, but he didn't cheat. It was devastating because I was a virgin and he's the only partner I've had. I felt like my body had been sullied and have had a difficult time getting over the resentment.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • (((hugs))) I'm so sad for you! I get angry when I see terrible parents with children, but those that would rock as parents go without. Would adoption be an option for you? We have friends who couldn't have kids and after 10 years of trying decided to adopt. It's perfectly normal to be angry and jealous. You might just get blessed by a miracle baby. I hope that you and your husband can find peace some how.

    Answer by Lexylex at 7:36 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I'm soo sorry, Sweetheart. I have the low risk hpv (genital warts) and I didn't know I had it until my SO found one on him and I found out that I had it first, we assume anyways. My ex was cheating on me as well and I believe I got it from him, but who knows to be honest. Anyways, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this hpv. We can't have kids regardless, but the hpv would make me not have one anyways because mine is easier to pass. ya know ? I can relate to your baby fever & not able to have any because I had a hysterectomy (not bc of the hpv tho) and my SO many years ago had a stupid 18 yr old incident and caused damage to his goods, so he's shooting blanks & has been since then. We are struggling with the thought of never having a baby together. I have a 5 yr old that he accepts very well, but we are wanting a baby together.... I understand where you are coming from. I'm very sorry & wish you the best of luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I totally understand what you're feeling. I felt the same way, especially after my miscarriage. I still feel bitter sometimes. Hang in there hun

    Answer by tspillane at 7:57 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • feel so sorry !!! hugs

    Answer by caramelH at 8:26 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Maybe your friend who is pregnant and is not sure if she wants her baby would considered letting you adopt the baby. I feel sorry for you and I know that it is hard. I lost my baby when he was 27 days old from sids and my friend is currently pregnant with an oops baby and she still is not all the excited about it. Her husband is but she is not. I know that she will love her child no matter what but I want to know why when I wanted my baby so much I lost him and she is having a baby and she didn't even want one. I love my friend however, we have been friends for over 25 years, so I will be there for her like she was there for me when I lost my son. Good Luck to you.


    Answer by slick05 at 10:08 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Hugs .. i have been where you are at and i know how depressing it is.I pray you conceive soon I don't want to tell you how I dealt with my struggles because it wasn't healthy

    Answer by suzzanna at 12:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I am so sorry, but I agree maybe if your friend really decides to give up the baby, you can work something out?

    Answer by AF4life at 8:30 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • i was told when i was a teen that i couldnt have kids but thank god i have 1 daughter an soon to be another daughter. i did have a miscarrage though that scard me mpost of all through this one. but yes i see where u r comring from cz my family loves kids an it seems like people know that an they use us. we take in people kids that they realy dont want or dont want to spend time they would rather party it very very sad. i hope u guys could addopted that girls kid but i wouldnt get your hopes up maybe haven a baby will change her in a good way again maybe not. but any ways good luck.

    Answer by BOOKER123ABC at 12:16 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • My friend isn't willing to allow us to adopt, if she gives her baby up for adoption she wants it to be to someone far away so she never has to see her child, right now she is thinking about an abortion,

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:44 AM on Jun. 25, 2011