Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why ????

Why do i feel if i get a epi during labor , i will be a failure ? i dont have this mind set for anyone else , just me ... any thoughts ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (10)
  • Because your too hard on yourself...STOP IT! :) If you want to get the epi do it, dont let yourself or anyone make you feel bad about it. GL

    Answer by Finkette at 11:07 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • What kind of a birth experience do you want?
    Why choose the epidural?
    Why choose no epidural?


    Answer by doulala at 11:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I think we all have certain expectations and standards that we hold ourselves to that we don't necessarily hold others to. I know there are things I expect of myself that I wouldn't expect of others. I wouldn't see others as a failure but, like you, I would feel like I didn't succeed. I keep reminding myself that I am human and to not be so hard on myself...

    Answer by MrsMWF at 11:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Maybe u feel like u won't really be able to fully experience the birth but I've had it with both of mine and I was fully conscience, the only thing it did was help me not to be in as much pain as I would've otherwise.

    Answer by BitsMom00 at 11:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I felt that way all the way up until I was 7cm dilated and they broke my water.....It took less than 5 minutes to change my mind about getting the epi!

    Answer by AF4life at 11:15 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I did the EPI with my first son and let me tell you it works wonders. trust me your not a failure. You need ur rest before the pushing, and the epi helps with that. NOw with my youngest son i didn't have an epi and i think if i had to choose whose labor and delivery was more relaxing i would say my first one but i was more of a rec and had a bad room. with my last one i had a great room and the sun was rising so i had that to concentrate on and for some reason the pain was not that bad with him.

    Answer by at 11:53 AM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Thank you all for your in put it really helps :) I will try not to beat myself up , if i end up getting one .

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • When I went into labor with my daughter I was dead set against an epi. I went 16 hours without getting one and when I finally decided to get one it was because I couldnt catch my breathe because everyone kept interrupting me during contractions and made it so hard for me to get back to peaceful place. I felt like crap that I ended up getting one especially since she was born 44 minutes later. It seemed like a waste to me. I even cried because I felt like a failure but my husband, mom and my nurse (bless her heart she was the sweetest) told me that I did great and I got it for the baby so she would be healthy because I was able to calm down and breath so she got the air she needed. I say dont feel bad if you do get an epi. Its used to make you feel better and be able to relax during contractions so that way your baby is better and you have the energy to push baby out.

    Answer by SMG1120 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • So what do you want?
    Why "beat yourself up or not"?

    Answer by doulala at 1:44 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I had the same problem, i refused to get one before i went in, and after 17 hours of contrations 2 minutes apart and off the monitor i still refused because i felt like if i go one then i was a faliure, i did end up getting one and was crying the whole time because i thought i failed as a mom, turns out i didnt lol lol dont beat yourself up hun k =) it doesnt matter if you have 100% natural, a c-section, epi, or even a full spinal block, your not failing me! =D good luck!!! =D

    Answer by Sarahg83619 at 3:59 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.