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Disciplining question about spanking...

I don't spank my toddler for everything, only after I know he understands what he is not supposed to do and does it anyway intentionally. Sometimes I spank his bottom and he gets so upset that when he starts to cry he hits himself in the face repeatedly. This makes me feel terrible, and it doesn't seem healthy at all for him to do this. Because he does this, should I use a different technique? He does time out and stands in the corner for normal punishments the spankings are here and there for things he has stood in the corner and sat in time out for over and over. I'm afraid i'm doing some kind of damage when i see him hitting himself in the face. =(


Asked by Miss_Angela at 2:17 PM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 12 (885 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • Advice from an older mom who listened to both sides of the fence. The children that were spanked when needed went on to lead productive lives the child who was not spanked I visit in jail because a time out just wasn't enough. Children do not care if you make them sit for a couple of minutes. I don't believe in spanking for every little infraction of course. What he is doing is showing you that he doesn't care because he can hit himself too. It's a stage. He's trying to see if you will stop because you feel guilty. Children are real good at picking up on our guilt feelings. A swat on the rear end is not going to impair him for life. But not teaching a child that they must respect authority and follow rules WILL impair them for life.

    Answer by attap5 at 3:00 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • how old is your child? i have a 2 1/2 yr old.. i havent spanked his butt but we tried the hand hit method if he kept doing something really wrong over and over.. it worked at first but then he began hitting back.. in my opinion spanking can either be damaging to them or teaching them the opposite of what you want to teach.. There are better ways to get your point across and it sounds like your child isnt benefitting from it.. If i were you id stop.. Try to sit him in time out more.. or for a longer time period [depending on age.. i do 2 mins= 2yr old, 3 minutes= 3yr old] & before he is allowed up, talk about how what he did was wrong.. and how he has to apologize and once he does, leave it at that.

    Answer by kp0469 at 2:27 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I would certainly find another way of punishing him. He is learning that hitting is okay just based on what you have described. Him hitting himself in the face shows that.

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 2:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Some children do really bad with that form of punishment. the hitting himself is a result of his anger and it ironically helps him find the most relief in the moment.

    I think quiet time is a wonderful idea. I used to nanny a little boy whose parent's told me if he misbehaved to place him in his playpen, his playpen was only used for quiet time and reflection of his bad behavior, they put one single book with cloth pages in his playpen. It turned into his comfort book when he was upset. When he got older he would take the book into a quiet place if he was upset and came out when he felt better.

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 2:25 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Yes, please use some other technique. Time out is good. Message me if you want for full particulars on how to do timeouts.

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 2:22 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • If I were you I would stop spanking.

    Answer by mompam at 2:19 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • That could just be a toddler thing and not have anything to do with spankings. I babysit 2 year old twin girls and one is always hitting her head on the wall for attention. Just saying. I spank mine when needed and it works for me, but some it doesn't. It is your choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • All kids are individuals, nooner ing works for evyone with the face hitting, I wouldn't spank him, I would make him clean! I love to punish with stuff that makes my life easier.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 4:33 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Hitting = MORE hitting, and makes it okay in your toddlers eyes.

    Answer by H.I.S. at 1:59 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I my self did not like the idea of spanking but eventually he became outta control. and time outs never worked, takeing toys away didnt, but my child doesnt even get bothered by it. a squirt bottle works good, my mom suggested it.

    Answer by mimah at 6:43 PM on Jun. 25, 2011