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Would you do it? Become Godmother to your ex-husband's children?

My ex-husband and I had a rocky marriage that hit rock bottom when our second child was still just an infant - he repeatedly cheated on me and finally left for another woman, a woman who threw it in my face that he left me for her. He completely abandoned our children for nearly a year, even when he did start to show a interest in being a father he only wanted to spend time with our older child. It's been 4 years now - he is a father to both our children now, most of the time we get along fine though it seems every few months he pulls some kind of shit with me and tries using our kids against me. For years I absolutely hated his girlfriend - she verbally and emotionally abused my children and was also abusive to my ex in front of my kids.

However over the last year I've noticed a big change in my ex's girlfriend - she hasn't abusive in any way to my kids, according to my ex she isn't abusive towards him either. For the most part I get along with her now too even though I still don't forgive her for the past. My ex and his girlfriend have a 2 year old daughter who I've babysat for many times and my family has become attached to her - my mom, brother, aunt and my few close cousins all treat her like family. My ex and his girlfriend are expecting their second child together in August, another girl, and today I got a message from her - she and my ex were discussing what would happen to their two kids if they both die...her father isn't in the picture, she doesn't want her mother to raise the kids, my ex-MIL is schizophrenic and was extremely abusive to my ex and his two brothers when they were growing up and his dad does whatever his mom says so his parents are out too. She asked me if I would take the kids if they were to die, she wants me to think about it and let her know. I'm shocked and honestly don't know if I should.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • wow! that is a big change. i would really think about it but that is an honor to be someones godmother and even in the will as the guardian if something would happen. hopefully it never does but they are your children's half brother and sister so i would consider it. if she thinks that highly of you and the way you raise your children. she probably thinks you are an excellant mother so i would probably say yes. but its your call.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 6:33 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I would say yes, the kids have nothing to do with what happened between the adults & they are your children's half sisters so I would take them in if there is no one that can raise them if god forbid their parents passed away, I rather them be with me then in a foster home. Say yes =)

    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 6:41 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • To take the kids if they were to do, you have to be in the will, not just the godmother.

    I think I would do it. It sounds like you have a great relationship with their child. And isn't that what this is about. If they die, you won't ever have to deal with the mother... Just the child you love as your own family member.
    marybeth927

    Answer by marybeth927 at 6:42 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I'd do it, yes she was a bitch to you in the past and for some reason she all of a sudden pulled her head out of her ass... at least shes acting like it; but clearly she has tremendous respect on the way you raise your children and would like the same kind of environment for hers.
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 7:14 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Everyone above pretty much covered one half of my answer...the other half of my answer would be....could you care for them financially? you must take that into consideration bcz this is about what would be BEST for the children. ??
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 8:04 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Ya I would.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 8:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • wow i would, what an honor! thats a great step in the right direction because if your resentment for her wasn't there, it would be easier for you to except and take it as a compliment. forgive her, for your sake when your ready, THEN you could be emotionally ready to be a god mom to her kid
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 2:41 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Probably but only cuz my ex fiance is godfather to the son I had with my DH lol
    nikkis23

    Answer by nikkis23 at 5:38 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Thank you all for your responses. I'll tell her I'll do it, finances would be tighter if I do someday take them into my care but it won't be too bad because my ex's girlfriend is setting it up so that I'd have access to the funds set up by her grandfather in the event of their deaths to help support the children.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:10 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Ummmm, no I wouldn't
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 7:02 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

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