Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Post baby sex drive adult content

Did anyone else competely lose their sex drive after their baby was born?? DD is 18 mos old and I still don't want it. I can't even fake it. I've tried and it just doesn't feel the same to me anymore. I just dont' want it. I would rather just lay on the couch and watch a movie then do anything sexual anymore. I know dh gets mad... and I do try. But then he gets upset because I don't act like I enjoy it. But I really don't....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Jun. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I'm sorry..I have never had that problem, have always had an out of this world sex drive. Bumping for you, though..and good luck.

    Answer by .MhacFoirfe. at 9:20 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Maybe you need a night off and some romance maybe the wham bam thank you mam is not what your interested in anymore. Try some things by yourself work them in with him and move on from there maybe its time the two of you talk.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:21 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I've had six kids and yest having a baby often takes away the sex drive for months, even years, at a time. Be kind to yourself and your hubby, if he takes the pressure off, you will get back to it sooner.

    Answer by judimary at 9:29 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I did after my first, but it was because I hated my husband, after my twins, Csection and all I could only wait 2 weeks to get back with my dh

    Answer by shivasgirl at 9:50 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Men have it easy. If they can't get it up, they can take a pill and all is well. Women's sexual disfunction issues are not understood, not treated well, and seldom discussed. However, there are a few things you can try.

    First off, you need nots or rest. Being tired is a big sex-drive thief. Make sure you are getting 8 - 9 hours every day. If you can't get it all at night, then take a one-hour nap when the baby sleeps. Get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every night. Eat right, get plenty of fresh air and daily exercise. Take really good care of your self! Having a baby takes a LOT out of you.

    Second, go back to dating your spouse. Set aside one night a week without the kids. Maybe go to the movies, or just walk at the park. Dress up, and look forward to it just like you did when you were dating. Try new things. Take a class together. Don't let your relationship get boring. (cont)

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 10:15 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Next, be sure to be open with your spouse. Tell him that you are having some issues, but it is NOT him. You love him with all your heart, but your body is not cooperating. Reassure him. Men have more fragile egos than women do. Let him know that this is not uncommon in women after having a baby. Listen to him. If you two get bottlenecked at this step, consider couples therapy.

    Next, visit a sexy store. Look for slinky lingerie. Have you ever tried a product called "dickalicious"? It comes in a variety of flavors... but the chocolate one isn't very good. You might look at some silly romantic games, or toys, or fantasy dressups. Being married doesn't mean boring!

    Finally, talk to your doctor. There may be some physical issues causing your lack of drive. Low Thyroid is one. Take care, and best wishes!
    (PS: Don't forget watching mildly "dirty" movies together . Check out anything by Candice Royalle)

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 10:22 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • You're definitely not alone. My daughter just turned two and I'm still struggling. It makes me sad because I want to want it like I did before, but my desire to catch up on sleep usually wins.

    Answer by katiemomNY at 10:45 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I've been there! It's rough. I think your hormones are out of balance and that's causing you to not have any drive for sex.
    Also, like another poster said....if your DH just wants a wham bam all the time without any romance (effort on his part) then no wonder you'd rather watch a movie and not be bothered.
    My DH is usually good at getting me in the mood though (even when I initially didn't think I wanted to). He's romantic and tries. I change my mind or I should body changes my mind for me.
    If all else fails......Are you still in love and attracting to your man? Just wondering...I see alot of posts on here where women don't think they love dh/so anymore and they aren't interested. What do YOU think would help you??

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 12:43 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • its not even that im not in the mood, its more of the fact that im too tired, and im just not interested because i am exhausted!

    Answer by Rydersmom95 at 1:34 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I had that issue till I weaned DS.

    Answer by lizziebreath at 12:24 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.