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4 Bumps

My fiancé wants to join the army!? I don't know what to do!

My fiancé and I are debating on getting married because we cannot afford it. I have HUD plus food stamps and I work part time. I have a year and a half old son. And on our wages together we could not afford to get married. So the other day he told me he was still thinking of joining the army. And us not being able to afford marriage was just one more thing on his list of why he should join. I told him the decision was his and I would stand by him either way. But I have question? If he does join would me and my son be able to with him if we got married? Would we be able to afford it? And if we should get married before or after he joins? If someone could help me out and give me some kinda advice. That's would be great.

Answer Question
 
Britny9

Asked by Britny9 at 10:47 PM on Jun. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • He will make good money in the Army and yes you will be able to go to most duty stations with him. Be prepared for year long deployments with limited contact and long hours while he is in training. You should get married before he joins because then both you and your son, provided your DF is his father/if he adopts your son, will be covered by his benefits and it will allow him to live in base housing and increase your income.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 10:54 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • – collapse
    Handcuff him to the bed or you'll find yourself ALONE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 24, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I don't think the military pays well myself but getting your rank up helps, the benefits rock!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:00 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • I'm totally willing to wait on him while he is gone. We live in a small area in arkansas. And there are no good jobs that can support us like we need without government assistance. A couple of my friends say we should get married before or right after he goes to basic. So that we can go with him if he goes on a base. But then I hear other things like you have to be a certain rank before you get family housing. And also he isn't the father of my son. But he wouldn't mind adopting him. But I don't know if he would be able to.
    Britny9

    Comment by Britny9 (original poster) at 11:04 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Can't afford to get married?? You can't afford the usually less than $100 to go in front of the local JP and get married??

    A fancy marriage ceremony isn't necessary.

    As for the military - if he does that you definitely need to get married before he goes into basic or you are screwed!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • No, you want to get married before. And these are good questions to ask the recruiter.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:06 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • License in ARK is $58 - should only cost a bit more for the JP to marry you. What are you waiting for?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • No. We could afford to get married. It's the living cost after marriage. I would lose my HUD and food stamps. If we got married. We don't make enough together to afford the bills.
    Britny9

    Comment by Britny9 (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • You do know that if you get caught when him living with you, you could lose everything too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

  • Get married before he goes in. Being a military girlfriend gets you nothing. He's gone all the time and if anything happens to you or your family, the military acts as though it's not important. That piece of paper makes a world of difference. Plus he will make more money just for being married. It's a very rough life for you both, so definately consider he could be gone much of the time. There's a lot of drama involved, there's so much blatent infidelity it might be very tough to trust each other. If you don't have a lot of potential to earn a living, I think this is a good option. If I were you, I'd go to school while he's in the military. This is a long term solution. Also, where many bases are located the job market is incredibly difficult for spouses. Businesses get a ton of applicants and don't want to hire you knowing you could get orders at any time.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 11:22 PM on Jun. 24, 2011

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