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3 Bumps

I have to have advice from you moms about this

i think something is up with my dh and this girl at his work. he keeps talking about her alot.well today he came to me and said i wanna tell you about the girl i keep talking about. he had to tell me she was married to a man that wont get a job and she has to pay all the bills. im like this is sapposed to mean something to me then he said but here is the funny part she cheats on him and he cheats on her. so shes goin after all the men she works with. well she came to my dh as if she was going to get to know him from what my dh had said. he told her that he was married and would never cheat on me. now she wont talk to him and he's mad about it.im like why would you be mad about that.well i have noticed here lately his mood has changed from ass hole to way to much for me to handle kinda he curses me tells me that i need to do this and do that. and all of a sudden planning a trip cause he said he needs a break from his work and this town we cant even afford it.but what im asking do you think like i do he maybe haveing something with this lady. and she ended it and broke his heart?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:48 AM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • It is hard to say. WHY should he care if she does not talk to him? Next, she sounds like a cheap whor@. WHY would he even get involved with her? Do you deserve him to treat you that way? No, you are his WIFE. He needs to RESPECT YOU. You have kids. He needs to GROW UP. Stand up for yourself. His running away does not solve anything. Good luck.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 2:57 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Its really hard to say yes or no without viewing the situation. I hope you also choose to not listen to women on here who might sway you to think that he is because its not right for them to do that. I did read an article once about something like this. The writer suggest you do some investigating before you talk to him, because once you say something he will cover his tracks and you will never find out.

    Gingerwheel

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 2:59 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • hmm men are pretty straight forward, since he said "im married" right off the bat, he meant it and did the right thing
    i would be more happy about that than anything
    i would trust him but know he may be the type that needs a lot of attention from the ladies
    so beware of the future ya know..instead of freaking out to your DH say "if you ever feel the need to stray just let me know you feel that way"
    i tell my SO this and he's actually said it once and i was so relieved since he and i could talk about it, i could give him the love he needed then he didn't have to go out and find it somewhere else
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:00 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Wow!!! I had a situation with DH too, but in my case it was with someone close to us and what my so dear, stupid husband did was to sent her texts that were not appropiate. I can tell you from experience that you have to stand up for yourself and communicate directly to ur DH that this situation is just not acceptable, because either he does respects you or not there are not in betweens when it comes to this. And if this lady so much needs a man friend she should go after single men not family men with kids and a wife, it is just wrong to disturb a family like that. About the part of getting his heart broken, haha don't feel sorry because he should not have pursued a relationship of any kind with this person especially if he knew it could have threaten your marriage.
    Really sorry to hear you're going through something like that. Good luck and set him straight!!
    paufonseca

    Answer by paufonseca at 3:00 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Sounds like he is trying to get you to think she isn't talking to him anymore but is actually planning a trip to cheat on you.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:13 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Sorry hun sounds like you have got a cheater on your hands. I would watch it very closely, not gonna lie I would become a bit of a spy if my dh did that kinda stuff to me.... If you can steal his phone for a couple min and put a family locator on it so when he goes on his "trip" you can see if he went where he said he was and if its somewhere you don't know you can google it. Just some idea's I am not a spy or anything but if I were in the same situation I would, you don't want to be blind to it and left in the dark. Good Luck hun I hope I am wrong
    nikkis23

    Answer by nikkis23 at 5:15 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I always think that honesty is best. Talk to your DH. Tell him that his interactions with this women and the changes in his behavior are making you feel like their is something going on with him. Tell him that your marriage is very important to you and that whatever is going on the two of you can get through it together. If he is thinking about seeing other women, you deserve to know. I would also tell him that you expect to be treated like his equal partner, and that his current treatment of you is unacceptable. He needs to respect you no matter what might be going on in his life. I don't think he is cheating, but he may be fighting through an attraction to this woman. Talk to him soon. If you snoop or accuse him of something, you can't take those actions back and those actions will affect his trust of you too.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 7:39 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • redf lags all over this
    he could be mad that this woman was sleeping with another man?
    and maybe he is saying mean things to you becuase he is comparing to another woman, it happens when cheating -can be super nice or super mean, but a big change in attitude
    if he is mad for no reason and this is new action, i say he is trying to ease guilt from cheating
    picking fight justifies his actions
    trip by myself-sorry, this is huge red flag
    can you floow him, track his phone, monitor his computer etc?
    power is knowledge, you may not like what you find out, but better than being in the dark with a spuse lying to your face

    do NOT except excuse that seem lame or out of place
    trust your insticts
    think with your head (heart will not be clear at this time)
    when confused ask yourself if a friend told you this or that - what would you think
    taking yourself out of situation and making someones elses issue with keep things cl
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:56 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I think he painted a pretty picture for you and you're obviously intuitive enough to pick up on his emotions, listen to your gut instincts, if you're feeling like something more is going on with him then it most certainly is. I was seeing a guy who admitted he had a crush on a girl in his class before we met but kept saying how now he was totally ignoring her, loved me and wanted nothing to do with her and it turned out he was hanging out with her on the nights he couldn't see me because "he had too much homework to do" but I "knew" or sensed it long before the facts were out there. LISTEN TO YOUR GOD GIVEN INTUITION.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Tell him to take all his things with him if he opts to go on this trip because he won't have a home to come back to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

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