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4 Bumps

I feel trapped in my own home. NEED ADVICE.

My younger sister has recently started staying at our house, which is fine. No more than a couple months I hope. The only thing is, I know she's trying to get her life together but she's been getting on my nerves a lot lately. I have a two month old that I naturally have to take care of all day and the ONLY time I have for myself or for me and my husband is at night time once my baby girl goes to bed. She tries claiming the couch as if it's hers or something. She totally doesn't want to share. Where am I suppose to sit? On the floor??? In my own home? And then she demands my husband to leave the livingroom when it's his computer she wants to go on and even asked me to tell him to go to bed so she can use it. He's a full grown adult! You don't tell him to go to bed. And it's not like she isn't on it half the day anyways. Sheesh. My sister, grant it, she's been a blessing with helping me organize a few things around the house but she acts like she owns our house and has every right to inject her opinion in every little thing my husband and I talk about. It's like, we can't even be comfortable in our own home. We have to watch what we say, sometimes we feel so trapped that we feel like we can't even go outside our room without her saying/doing something. I understand that my Mom and her husband, and my sister all got into an argument (a pretty serious one), and she has no other place to stay, but what gives her the right to invade my space the way she does both literally (barging in my room while I'm trying to put my daughter asleep in her bassinet) and figuratively in regards to injecting her opinions in every little thing. She even belittles me at times saying "why haven't you done the dishes" or bossing me around. Or she gets angry at me for her doing something that I asked her politely to do even if I say it's okay if she doesn't want to do it but she does it anyways? Can't I get respect in my own home? I'd rather her not help me at all if it means she's going to focus more on herself and create less arguments but she just won't do it!!! Any advice??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would just tell her that this stuff needs to stop. She needs to respect you and your home, and if she can't do that, then she needs to find somewhere else to stay. As far as her doing things around the house and complaining, I'd just say, "I'm letting you stay here rent free. You'll either pitch in and do your part or I'm going to start charging you rent."
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:59 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I think you need to talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. Point blank say to her that if these things don't change she is going to have to work out other arrangements. Your sister should not make you feel like that in your own house and if she can't respect what you are saying when you tell her it, then she doesn't need to be there period. Good Luck I hope I helped and things change for you *hugs*
    nikkis23

    Answer by nikkis23 at 5:05 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I would tell her that she has thirty days to get herself together and then she is out. It isn't your problem that she got into it with the other part of your family that she was living with. Your husband is going to start to resent you and unless you are willing to jepordize your family you need to tell her that it isn't working because she has no respect for your home or family and she needs to learn her place... as well as go out and get her own.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:11 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Time to tell her. Your house your rules. When you want the living room to your self. Tell her to leave. Tell her to go buy her own computer or deal with yours and limited access.   Tell she starts paying half your house bills she has no authority in your house.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:54 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You need to lay down some ground rules with her. Maybe you should also start charging her rent.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 6:57 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I don't know how old your sister is but that is totally wrong at any age. I think that if it were my sister I would be telling her the way you run your house and that it isn't her house. I know you might have a hard time telling her things but you already feel bad about not saying anything. Is she sleeping on the couch? Is that why she is hogging it? I also agree with others that if your husband gets upset that it won't be fun around your house. I hope that you say something today and not wait too long. She needs to know now or she can find other living arrangements. Good luck!
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 7:17 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I think you should sit down and talk to her. Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 8:13 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You are giving her the right to invade your space, you need to talk to her and tell her what you told us, maybe then she will change her ways.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:40 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • honestly you need to have a major sit down with her and tell her how its going to be in regards to some ground rules about your house and if she doesnt like it she can go back to mommy , i dont care how big a fight they got into......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:55 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • She needs to go and start respecting you and your husband
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 12:22 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

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