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Just want to update and say thanks

 You are right, if leaving is a threat. I made the decision to end the marriage end of last year if  my husband's daughter continued the violent  abuse -- as it played out last year. I became ill ( I am never ill) and it destroyed our marriage and I left for 5 months; returned a month ago to see if things were salvageable.... If I were in the US and had the resources there (good therapy for her, removal from the violent environment of the mother, support from my friends and family) I might be able to weather and work with that behavior... But not here in France where emotional abuse is not even considered as a child welfare issue (3 years of court battle).   I am surprised at the turnaround and hopeful that we passed the worst. It has been sad for all of us. But you raised an interesting point.  At what point can or should a step parent say 'I can't do this anymore' and leave , given a persistently abusive, violent or severely problematic step child and a marriage in threads, as a result? How much are step parents expected to withstand?   It was not easy to leave. I have returned after 5 months of deep soul searching to a different situation, thankfully and hopefully will continue to be positive.. but I knew deeply inside myself that I would not stay for a repeat of a galvanizing year of abuse by a stepdaughter.

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StepMomFrance

Asked by StepMomFrance at 8:47 AM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Best of Luck to you! I hope it continues to get better and better. I'm sorry that you're all having to live under a threat like that though. For me--that would hang over my head everyday 'negatively'. I would hate to worry that my husband (told me) he might possibly leave me at any moment for my dd's behavior.(if it were my case) I would rather get down to the deeper issues that's the problem with the sd and work on getting those worked out so she doesn't have them at all. It is possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I'm sure it's hard and I'm sorry for what your going through.
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 11:31 AM on Jun. 25, 2011

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