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WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN ONE OF KIDS IS NOT SPEAKING TO YOU BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU NEVER DID?

THIS KID THINK THAT WE CALLED CHILDREN SERVICES ON HER,BUT WE DID NOT. NOW WE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO SEE OUR GRANDCHILDREN FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Dec. 13, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (15)
  • Oh dear! I'm sorry. There's not much you can do unfortunately. You can tell someone the truth and sometimes they still can't see it. It sounds like your just going to have keep them in your prayers and hope that they grow up soon. My sister did something similar to my parents...it got better over time but it was difficult for them. {{Hugs}}.
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 11:55 PM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • Mommymomo07....good idea. I've never heard of that. That sure would have been helpful to my parents. Good advice : )
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 11:56 PM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • There is no such thing as Grandparents Right to the poster who said that. It was tried and overturned by the Supreme Court. The only time grandparents rights are considered is if one of the parents has died and the grandparents are seeking visitation. The other time is if CPS is involved and they need a family placement.
    My best advice to the original question is to just keep sending letters, cards, gifts or whatever you can to show that you are interested in her and the childrens lives. You might even have to apologize to her bc even if you didnt do anything some people want an apology and wont beleive anything else. Good luck. I know for me I would crawl through broken glass and beg on my knees to see my grandchildren. I hope she lets you see them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • I am in the same boat as you are. There is only so much you can do.I Know.that I did not call children seervices and to me that is what mattters. Yes I love my grand-kids and my daughter, however I refuse to be treated like a piece of dirt and only be contacted when money is involved. My daughter has got her self in a bad situation with no way out. I tried to talk to my daughter also, howevver I was told that I was never to darken her door way again along with being called everthing but a child of God. I have thrown my hands up to the situation, it has been 5 years now. I just love them a from afar. I found out that Grand=parent laws arent that great...the hard way. So the only thing I can tell you is keep trying, put your trust in God and hope for the best.
    My thoughts are with you..I Know first hand how you feel.
    Melanie_Ann

    Answer by Melanie_Ann at 10:37 AM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • My oldest daughter doesn't talk to me but for different reasons their is not much you can do about it. I have never seen my grandson. Probably never will. She is pregnant with #2 right now.
    I hope you have better luck then I have had GL
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:52 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Once a month or so, send a letter or make a call. Keep it light and brief, no recriminations or criticizing. Maybe some day she'll actually open the letter or take the phone call when she realizes that you are a loving person and part of who she is. ((hugs))
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:27 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Even if you did call CPS on her, she should be greatful that she has a mom that cares enough about her children to want to protect them. Now, what would I do in that case? I'd call her and when she answers the phone I'd immediately say "I did not call cps on you" That gives her the opportunity to reply (and get out pent up anger so you two can move on) or she can slam down the phone and stay in her own little world. However, even if she did that it still planted the seed of "maybe mom didn't call". She might come around. Mine got angry and kept my grandkids from me but gave in when she needed a free babysitter. I was not happy but took it just to see my grandkids again.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:07 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Why does she think you did it? Is there any way of convincing her otherwise? I believe in the power of the pen. I would write her a heartfelt letter. Not accusing her or putting her back up against the wall. A letter she will read and have to digest before responding..she cannot interupt a letter with her anger. Tell her how much you love her and miss her and how this is hurting the whole family and that you need her help to work out your differneces.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:42 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I would send cards and notes and call periodically....just let her know how much you want to be a part of her life! Send gifts to the kids and notes and cards....don't give up on that. Treat her the way you think a daughter should be treated and just keep doing it!
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:44 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • I would write her and tell her how much you love her and explain that you did not make the call. You can leave the ball in her court. Were the kids taken away?
    grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 7:19 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

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