Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What do I do for this friend?

She is getting divorced, no cheating, she is just tired of being ignored and her opinion not mattering in her marriage. They have 2 small children. He is military and she feels like she has no rights and that's they was he is treating her. He told her that because she wants the divorce, she has to do everything he says. He told her she can't move out of state (yet since he is military, she could if she wanted to because he will be moving withing the year anyway). He also told her she can't take a dime from their bank account since she doesn't work and he does and he won't even let her take her or the children's clothes. He said the clothes are since since he works and they are for when the children are with him. He also wants he to sign saying that she will move with the girls wherever he is relocated. I keep trying to tell her that doing everything he wants isn't always best for her children. She wants to move back home and live with her parents while she gets on her feet but she is afraid he will take her children in court (which as he is active duty military, I don't think he can, that is what my ex was told in court)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • He's full of crap and trying to control her. Tell her to go to Legal Aid and file. Half of everything is her's so she CAN take half the money, ALL her personal items and half the furniture and one car if they have two AND he has to pay her CS and if married long enough, Alimony. Until she gets on her feet he has to give her an allotment for food and housing. He can't tell her where she can and can't live. If he is being stationed somewhere else soon he can't force her to stay in that state.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • She needs to tell HIS commander what he told her. My ex husband tried that shit on me, I went straight to his commander and after they got through with him, he changed his tune.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 3:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • He's a controlling asshole. Tell her to go to JAG herself, and his Commander with the garbage he's trying to control. Talking to the Chaplain might be a good idea too.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Tell her to seek legal advice ASAP. The longer she waits, the worse it will get.

    Answer by Gwenleona at 4:57 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Google the state she is in and the words 'bar association', then search that site for pro bono (free) legal advice. Any money they have is an asset of the marriage and belongs to the both of them. She can also call around to some lawyers and ask if they give a free first time consultation. Most do. GL

    Answer by whitepeppers at 5:21 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • She needs to leave and quick, get a attorney and get things settled. He can't keep anything but everything that they aquired in the Marriage is bothe their property not just his. Tell her to get legal advice and throw that in his face and I bet he will sing a different tune. Actually since she doesn't work, she is entitled to spousal support and child support and since he is in the Military she will get the children.
    Tell her don't be afraid but move on and get what she deserves and move to her parents and get a nice man.

    Answer by dusty1962 at 7:14 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I think she needs to seek legal advice ASAP. He is controlling her and he cant do that. She can go wherever she wants with the kids and he cant tell her otherwise. Half of everything they have is hers. Not letting her take clothes and personal belongings seems petty and immature to me. She needs to get a motionfor child support and spousal support as well. She deserves better! GL to her!

    Answer by Heather021287 at 8:27 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • these are all great answers, hope you tell your friend and hope she listens!

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 12:50 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.