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Suggestions would be nice.

My daughters boyfreind doesn'nt want to go home at all.he's scared of his mom,he's been hit before and knocked in the head with a frying pan. He's been in trouble before he told me and his mom is just so bad that he can't talk to her. He told me his father died heroine overdose. This kid is 16,he seems really smart,and I've let him stay here a couple nights on and off. I can't keep doing this,but I hate to see him on the street. His jaw is hurting pretty bad from his mom beating on him. He says he is treated like dirt. I can't believe any mother would do this to their baby,and I have my hands tied cause I have no means to help him.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • If you have a room in the house for him like a finished basement, I would let him stay at your house. BUT! On the condition that if he stays, he doesn't have to pay rent but he has to do chores (You select) around the house. Like mowing the lawn etc. That will give him some responsibility. Then if his Mother has an issue then tell her you know that she beats the poor kid (not that he told you) & you will call the Police on her if she ever does it again.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 4:04 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You have only a few options here 1) Let him live with you 2) Call the state & they may or may not do something about it 3) Help him to get emancipated (sp!?)

    Is he in school & doing well? Does he want to graduate? I'd say if he is a respectful young man & does well in school & would obey your rules to as let him stay with you until you can help him otherwise or until he graduates. Its a pain on your family I understand but whats worse sending him home to be beat or trying to make it work at your place? I also say if you go this route if he messes up once he's out period. He also can get an afterschool job you could make that apart of the rules or something for him to help out.

    I had an abusive home life & at 16 walked away. I had nobody so I got an apartment with my boyfriend at the time & was lucky someone would even rent to us too. It was tough but walking away was the best choice I ever made. Good Luck.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 4:07 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • i'd make an anonymous call to cps
    tell them what you have seen
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I would make a call and make sure that's really what the situation is. I have a SD that likes to tell tales like that so that she can either live with her latest boyfriend or the boyfriend can live with her. If he is 16, he's pretty old for a mother to be beating on without him being able to defend himself. I would just make sure you have the entire story. And living with you is going to be a situation that you would have to keep an eye on because those little nightly visits just make you a grandma.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 5:00 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • CALL CPS!!! He is being abused and afraid to go home. Call before she hits him in the head with that frying pan so hard it kills him. WOW, that really is one that I wouldn't even think about. I would be on the phone in a heartbeat. Or take him to the ER for his jaw pain and let him explain what happened and the hospital staff will take care of calling CPS, they are legally mandated to do so.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:47 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • A call to CPS could make the situation worse. Either CPS wont do anything or investigate & find nothing so the boy has to stay home & the mother may get even more mad about it. Dont think she'll back off bc of a call to CPS she more likely will continue & possibly even beat him worse afterwards. Or CPS actually does something (which would be a shock if they did) & the boy at 16 is stuck in some foster home in a place he dosent know which could go wrong in many ways. Theres no way of knowing if the foster home he goes to is a good one or with people who even care. I know people who foster who are great but also know others who are not & the kids would have been better off more likely in their original homes.

    I hate to say it but CPS usually esp for an older child isnt the best choice. If he is doing good in school & would try to help him & encourage him to stay on that path, just my opinion though.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 4:15 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Also I know in my state at 17 I was able to get foodstamps & such. You said he's only 16 but you can simply call your local office & see if he can get them you dont have to say your name or anything to just ask those questions. Most likely the state wont care he is living with you if he can/does sign up for benefits bc its one less kid they have to deal with ya know. You could also call up the foodpantry to see if they can get you some food to help accomadate an extra mouth to feed & any local churchs may be willing to help you out as well with either donations for things he needs or even maybe a nice family who can afford another child would want to take him in. You have options but your going to have to make some calls & do some thinking & spend a bit of your time. Again good luck.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 4:18 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • If there are other kids in the family I would call cps.

    If he stays there he and your daughter may get closer? Her future must come first.

    And he should get emncipated, And get help.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 4:19 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You have to call CPS. If his mom is a cruel as you say she is, YOU could end up in legal trouble for harbouring a minor runaway. Doesn't matter WHAT he's running away from. HE needs to go to the POLICE and FILE CHARGES against his mother!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:00 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You are wonderful person for letting him stay, let him do this and in the mean time try to figure out what you can do for him.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:58 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

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