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4 Bumps

I hate my mother adult content

yep hate her, not dislike, hate with a passion

she treats my dad/her husband like shit
and takes his money and even gives it away
i feel bad for my dad. she is a bipolar mess
id be happy if they divorced
its not my business but we all live together
i want him to kick her out and find him a new independent woman
she needs him more than anything and would have no where to go without him
it breaks my heart everyday and she's mean to me and my sister too and judges us HARD

should i confront her or let her wreck the peace/

if i did confront her what would i say, she would start abusing me more

pardon the later use of language

 
lizzybee44

Asked by lizzybee44 at 4:17 PM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You can't confront psychos, sorry. My mom is a psycho and the best thing for me to do was move out and then move like an hour away and cut off contact.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 4:22 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Hard situation & I dont have any advice for you. I walked away from my mother & her abuse when I was 16 & its been 8 years since I spoke with her (since taht exact day I walked away actually). So my instinct is always to simply walk away & cut ties but where your father is involved I dont know. I knwo you care for your dad but if he dosent take charge at some point & just lays down & allows this to happen then there isnt anything you can do to help him. My step grandma does this to her husband too eventually I had to cut ties with them too. I tried to stay in touch with him bc I liekd him & he was nice but she is abusive towards him & two faced to the rest of us so again I walked away after so much trying. At some point it isnt worth it anymore which I know sounds harsh but its the truth. Good luck.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 4:23 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I think I would try talking to my dad. I would tell him he doesn't have to be treated that way. Also tell him you are concerned about leaving him alone with her when you & your sister leave. He needs to take more control of the situation and tell his wife if she doesn't get therapy & meds he's leaving. With therapy & meds she will likely be much easier to live with.
    Hunnieto3

    Answer by Hunnieto3 at 4:48 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Oh lizziebee, I am sorry. Is there some way to help her if she is bi polar? She might be even more miserable than you are. If she is going through menopause that could be an issue as well. She might be so affraid of what her life is and has become. She is at the age where her children are adults or becoming adults and they don't need her anymore. She might really need help. I am sorry you are so unhappy. I wish I had a good answer for you.
    country50gal

    Answer by country50gal at 4:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • great idea, but then i'd be far from my dad. im here cuz they want me to be here and i want to be here. also, don't want to leave my sis alone with this psycho.
    still sucks for my dad tho no matter what, he's married to her
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Can you take your sister with you? That is what I would do is take my sister & move away. After getting out of the house & away from your mother see how things go. Living under the same roof cant be easy & must be making things a bit harder to get a handle on the situation.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 4:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • yea, my sis and i have been talking about it
    i can't until she's 18. she wants to real bad and it will happen hopefully around june 2012, exactly a year
    ill have a bachelors by then, and she will be old enough
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 4:27 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Is this your bio-mother?
    Liz30355

    Answer by Liz30355 at 4:49 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Maybe seeking help for your mother might be in order first of all. You do realize that being bi-polar is also hereditary? I would be careful about how much you hate someone when it is a possiblity that you or your sister may end up in the same situation one day. She needs help. I am not excusing her of any abuse or maltreatment. The one thing that really bothers me in what you said is an "independent woman." Maybe your father is old-fashioned and does not believe that women need to be independent. Also, maybe your father loves her. He took vows for better or worse and in sickness and in health. Although I do believe this situation is "worse" and "in sickness" it is his duty to do what he can to stick by her until there is no other alternative.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 5:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • he loves her so that helps me not feel so bad for him...
    she has sought a LOT of help
    i was told by my therapist that i am not bipolar when she pulled out the DSM revised version
    it runs in my family, yes a lot of my other folks are bipolar but they treat people with respect
    this is my bio mother yes, and she has done so much damage to me for her fucked up life, she's been adopted, treated badly by her step mom and was never aloud to leave the house, was controlled, bullemic, abused and sexually molested
    it just feels like all her anguish has been literally dumped onto me
    not to mention this is WHY i myself have been seeing a counselor. its helping but still need advise on HOW to forgive someone so abusive, i really don't know if i ever can, but i want to be able to for my own health and wellness
    lizzybee44

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 6:10 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

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