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Should I say something or stay out of it?

I am posting anon because I know some family of mine does post here. Anyway I found out one of my husbands cousins who cant have kids is trying to adopt through social services. I applaud her and think she would make a good mom. The thing is her husband would not make a good father. I am scared to have him around my own kids sometimes. He shot himself in the foot playing with his gun not long ago. They lied to the worker doing the home visits and said the guns gone but we know better. He came over and pulled that thing out in front of my kids and set it on the table like nothing.

Anyway he has also beaten 2 dogs to death. One of my neices accidentally fell and made a mark on the TV (not his) and he was more concerned with the damage to the TV then her. He said he would have beaten that ass. Today we were all together talking and we got to talking about how funny kids are, you know they ask something and come back 5 minutes ask again thinking the answer will be different. Things like that. He said he would never have that problem with his kid, because hes simply going to beat its ass until it learns. No one knew what to say? I dont spank my own kids, and even those there who do pop from time to time were like uh we dont even do that! Thats only for an extreme punishment.

I tried mentioning this to my mil and she claims he was raised in foster homes so probably knows better then I do about how to run one or make it nice for the kids. I did not know that about him but still. Kids are not allowed to even touch the remote at his house. He says he worked too hard for his things to have a bunch of brats touch it.

Should I call the social worker and voice my concern? Or stay out of it? I feel bad. I think my husbands cousin would be a good mom, but as long as she is married to this man I do not think they need a child.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • i would probably say something, because when that time comes and they are given a baby and he does something to that baby, you'll feel bad because you knew he wasn't father material. he is an a**hole really. i dont' see how your cousin can be with someone like that.

    Answer by lucky35 at 6:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I think you should say something now what if you say nothing and he really isn't just talking?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:24 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You are obligated to say something... children need a voice and we have to speak for them whenever necessary.

    Answer by 1northwestmom at 6:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Call Social Services because if you don't what ever child comes into that home is no better off then he was before when he was either with his biological parents or foster care.
    Children can't protect themselves against abuse when they are young and that child will be so unhappy. I feel sorry for your sister in law but you should do the right thing and CALL.
    Call and tell them what has been going on in their household and that they lied to Social Services and that you want to stay anonyomous. Sounds like he just wants the protect the children...

    Answer by dusty1962 at 6:49 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I would call social services, despite your husband's cousins ability to be a good mom she obviously has crap taste in men and from the sounds of things he'll be an abusive parent and no child needs that kind of a parent especially one who is already dealing with the foster care system.

    Answer by anon1986East at 6:53 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • They actually want to adopt and are asking for infant to 3 yrs old. I am going to call. My other cousin got a letter in the mail asking for recommendations for HIM. She called and told me she did not know what to do. She has already called herself and told them not to give them a child, and now gets this letter? She said what do I do? I said dont fill it out then.
    Ill call them tomorrow thanks. I just do not want to be a meddler or do something I might be over reacting about ya know?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2011