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2 Bumps

What do you think of this?

My ex husband was an alcoholic and very abusive. He tried to kill my daughter and I and told me if I ruined his military career he would slit my throat. I moved my daughter and I 3000 miles away, having never worked and no college, actually got a good job with the state. My ex took me to court 3 times to reduce child support. He took me to court 2 times for custody and lost but I had to pay a crapload of attorney bills. My daughter had to go 3000 miles away in the summer to see him, and he abused her. I came into money and spent every dime to take away all visitation. My daughter is 14. The last time she saw him, he picked her up, took her to the mall, bought her a pair of $300 sunglasses, took her home, and left, yet again hurting her-this time emotionally. A few months ago he called and left me 3 voice messages threatening to kill us, and my husband. I finally busted his military ass and got him demoted. Now he is playing mind games with me. He wants me to download a program on my kid's computer called Skype and buy a webcam so he can talk to her whenever he wants. I am torn. I don't want my kid to get hurt. I am ok with them talking, only if she wants. He is telling me I don't have a choice, it is my fault they aren't communicating and I am keeping him from having a relationship with his kid. What do u think? Sorry so long!

 
emmyandlisa

Asked by emmyandlisa at 6:42 PM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (28,290 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • She is of age and she can decide if she wants to talk to him or not remember how do he hurt her and know this is not whats best for her.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:34 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • If she doesn't want to talk to him and he lives that far away what is he planning on doing if SHE decides thats not what she wants. She is old enough to decide if having a relationship with him is something she wants, and honestly he doesn't deserve a relationship with her. He has no right to demand that with the way he treats and threatens you. She doesn't need to deal with him anymore, and if she doesn't want to then she shouldn't have to. Good luck, just tell him no, and ask your daughter if she wants him to know its her choice or if she'd rather you protect her and give him another reason for not agreeing to it.
    husky_grlie08

    Answer by husky_grlie08 at 6:59 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • He can not force you to do anything. Document any communication he has with you. I would fight to have his rights terminated. And get a restraining order against him.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 6:58 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • You do have a choice! If he abused her, it is her choice whether she wants this or not.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 7:09 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I'm sorry for what you and your daughter are going through, the best advice I can give you is to discuss it with your daughter - ask her if she'd like to be able to talk to her father over Skype, at 14 and considering the past she has had with him I think she should be able to decide for herself whether or not she'd want more communication with him.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 6:49 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • I would leave it up to her. If she wants to talk to him have her call him.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • The thing that is pissing me off is he is demanding it. Telling me I don't have a choice.
    emmyandlisa

    Comment by emmyandlisa (original poster) at 6:52 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • She wants a webcam but not to talk to him. She asked me if I died could she stay with my current hubby. Breaks my heart. I don't think she cares to talk to him.
    emmyandlisa

    Comment by emmyandlisa (original poster) at 6:53 PM on Jun. 25, 2011