Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Does anyone have daughters who have kids themselves and they don't take good care of them?

I am needing advice on what to do about my daughter. She is 25 yrs. old and her and her hubby are both addicted to the computer. My daughter has changed over the past year since she started playing IMVU game and her hubby is and has been on games, mainly, "war of warcraft" for years!! They have 3 gorgous girls, ages: 1 and 1/2 yr. old, a 7 yr. old, and a 9 yr. old. They live next door to me and my hubby. She used to do so much with the girls and now all she does most of the time is stay on the computer playing that game and it was bad enough that her hubby has done that forever, and we have helped them out with money many times as though her hubby works they live beyond thier means and my daughter wants to look rich even when they r not. They don't budget money at all, and her dad and me don't want to see them get something cut off like the electric or them not having no money to buy food. The 2 older girls come over everyday becuse they r so bored and need attention. I have pleaded with my daughter to change too. The girls are not on any schelude or a set bedtime either. They stay up with their mom and dad who stay up almost all night playing on the computers. I just wanted to see if anyone is going through something like this and could offer some advice. I want my grandchildren to have a great child hood and it is not going to good right now. I m disable and I have mrsa and am not well, or I would have adopted them already! I worry so much for them all. One last thing is that my daughter and her hubby have been married 8 yrs. and her hubby has cheated on her a few times, and one was recently. It has been so messed up. I know they r using the computer games for an escape from the real world, but they have children and don't even realize what a blessing that is! Ididn't raise my daughter or son like that, so I cannot understand why they r like that! I think they r trying to fill a void in their lives too, and I am a Christian and I have prayed over this too. If anyone has the same or like the same thing going on and have any advice, please write back.
Thanks so much....look forward to hearing from u all....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Jun. 25, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (8)
  • I have a 20 yr old daughter with a sweet 2 yr old and she is a horrible mother half the time--forgets to feed her, change her, lets her stay up until 2 when she has company(guys hanging out at her apt). I sympathize.

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 11:48 PM on Jun. 25, 2011

  • Thanks for answering. I don't know how u handle that? I know it must be so hard on u too. "It is so hard to watch our kids have kids and do them that way! Especailly when we raised them better than that! I have been praying so much for them to change and I don't know what else to do, as it does no good to tell her over n over as she doesn't listen!! At times I have even thought about calling DHS for them to intervene, but scared to do it. U know? Anyway, take care....Thanks again.........

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:02 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Once they become adults, we have to let them make their own mistakes, and as long as those kids are not being physically or mentally abused I would stay out of it. I bet you that back in the day, you resented anyone telling YOU how to raise your own. I totally understand your concern, but these are not your children to raise, once they get older they will realize the mistakes of their ways.
    At least they have your house to escape to........

    Answer by older at 7:57 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • am 23 an i have a daughter an a kid on the way. I spend as much time with her as possible we have books we work on to teach her more stuff an she has a temper so we have been talken her to kid events to try an teach her how tointeract with other kids. so am not sure y your daughter isnt doing it maybe shes depressed from him cheatting an fell into the game to feel closer to him am not sure but i would have the kids over as much as possible so that u kknow what they r getting an about the games have the internet be shut off cant play the games then unless their not online games. i wouldnt live above my means eather im not good with handling money so am taken a class for it. i work hard 60+ hrs before i became prego as an lna in the mine time i have went back to school to further my education so that i can make more money to support my family. i dont care as long as my kids have what they need i come last.

    Answer by BOOKER123ABC at 8:57 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • their r different people that u can try an talk to to help her improve with the kids shes not hurting them physicaly but maybe mentaly they dont understand. hope this helps good luck keep us posted

    Answer by BOOKER123ABC at 8:58 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I'm sorry to hear you're in bad health and have the added stress of worring over the children. I was in a similar situation that got bad enough for me to take the kids away permanantly. 2 boys and 1 girl. Talk to your daughter and explain to her if they can't fix the situation in house themselves then you'll have to call in outside sources to help them get on track. Maybe your coversation with her will be enough. Sometimes just the thought of strangers walking through your life and digging up your secrets is enough to get back on track. Good luck and good health!

    Answer by starfire59 at 8:58 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • My daughter is 21 and has two children, She will tell me they ate, but I don't believe her when they are telling me eat, eat. Mine takes all the money from her checking (joint with her) and spends it somewhere, then lets it overdraw. Enough about that.
    Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one out here.

    Answer by DeBee13 at 3:10 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I wish I could help, but at least knowing your not alone will help a little. My oldest dd is 29 and has 4 little girls, ages 1, 3, 8 and 11. She is in and out of an abusive relationship with the father of the youngest. I have threatened to take them from her if she takes them to his house again, so she left them with me for a week! So she could go stay with him!! Then she comes back and says she's not going to his house anymore and takes the girls, but I'm not sure if she's taking them there or not, I hate to question the kids all the time, but I can't allow this to go on, for these little girls to see the fighting and abuse. The oldest child, 11, doesn't even want to go with her mom anymore, she stays with me all the time. I babysit full time for these 4, while my dd works, but I end up keeping them much more than that because I worry where she'll take them and what she'll expose them too. Well sorry to go on and on.....

    Answer by robyann at 8:27 AM on Sep. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.