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I know what I should do but I dont like it :( (need 2 vent) LONG

Ok.. so ive been with my "fiance" for a little over two yrs and we have a baby together (4mth old little girl) so im a stay at home mom bc this is my first child so im really protective and im also tryin to do online school so i really have no time for a job. The fiance doesnt want me to work he works a great job and makes 11 an hr and works 5 days a wk. However since our daughter was 2 wks old he hasnt had ANYTHING to do with her unless we're in public and tht pisses me off.. i do ALL the house work, the outside work (take care of HIS dog and cut our HUGE yard with a pushmower) all his job at work consists of is riding a cart taking parts to different places on the job then after work he has to lock the door on the trailer they have parts in. big deal. he has even told me most of the time they dont do nothin over there but screw off. so when he comes home he lays on the couch and watches tv i have to run his bath wash clothes for work cook fix his lunch for work and all -which doesnt bother me at all- the thing is he NEVER does anything to help me even with our daughter.. i have to ask him to do stuff for her >:/ if i ask him to feed her while i make her some more bottles he'll say ok then when i walk out of the room he'll stick her in her swing and put a bottle in her mouth with a blanket proppin it up. most of the time when i hand her to him she'll cry bc she basically doesnt know him. When we first moved in together he helped me with everything. I lost all my trust for him bc i caught him doin stuff here and there and COMPLETELY lyin about it. He proposed over a yr ago and now everytime i mention our weddin he kinda blows off what im sayin and he does little things to PURPOSELY piss me off.. like when we're in public he'll flick our keys really loud in stores and make a big scene and he'll burp really loud when we go out to eat and just stupid childish shit.. then i can ask him to stop and immediately he'll do it again then look at me funny like it was an accident.. im just tired of the bs.. earlier i said somethin about it and he was like all you do is bitch and complain and im tired of it i said well why dont you leave he said why dont you (this is my dads rental house we live in mind you) and he'll tell me i dont do nothin but lay on my fat ass or he'll say shut up you stupid whore and ill say if you love me why do u act like tht hell say i do love you im just sick of the bitchin and i say well i wont bitch if you help me every now and then and he comes bak tht he'll help if i stop bitchin :/ right.. i even have to take the baby in the bathroom while i take a fast shower cuz i know he wont watch her and she's in that just learnin to roll over stage and he never keeps his eye on her i NEVER have me time.. time to relax.. ive been doin EVERYTHING since she was born which i love but if he's gonna be here he needs to help.. and when i mention leavin he always says he's gonna take her from me and she'll have a new mom bc im bein a bad one by bitchin all the time.. :/

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'm sorry honey. I had babies with a childman too and it sucked. I got a new man and he is so wonderful! He makes me so happy, helps me out around the house, helps with the kids. and does ALL the yard work. I'd leave if I were you, especially since your dd is so young she won't even remember it!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:14 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I know but the thing I'm afraid of is ill come bak.. or tht he would get custody of my daughter.. it scares me to death ..he moved to my home town where all my family lives and he wants me to leave.. i know if i leave him ill catch hell..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:18 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Put his stuff outside and change the locks if you want him to leave. I am sure your dad will change the locks. You could have your dad evict him too. I am sure he has done something against the lease if you have one.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 1:44 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • My dad bought this place and we fixed it up.. we dont pay rent bc my dad is tryin to help us out but im just sick of the shit.. he left one time and stayed gone a couple of hours but cant bak and knocked the back door in instead of knockin bc he didnt "wanna kiss my ass" (by knockin) retarded excuse.. i love him so much but just wish he would grow up.. there's not much more i can take i have been depressed since about 5 months b4 i got pregnant and am just now gettin out of it.. i grew up in this same shit and dont wanna see my daughter grow up in an unstable home.. i just wish he could see things from my point of view.. he has just changed so much from when we first got together.. sometimes i wonder if he still loves me.. *sigh*
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:48 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • First of all your providing the roof over your daughters head literally, because it's your dads rental. You take care of the baby 24/7. You just said, how he doesn't do anything for the child...you do it all. If you left him, you would just need to go file for child support through the courts. That will help with some of the income your going to need to support your child.

    The court system does not take away a mother's custody or her child unless she abuses drugs/drug addict, is in prison, or abuses the child. If he tries to accuse you of any of this, he needs proof not just show up to court and accuse you. He will get some type of visitation, unless you can prove that he is unfit, neglects the child, is on drugs, or abuses the child. You can also, keep the courts out of it... the pro's and con's are "no child support" if he doesn't help on his own, and you don't have to let him see the child so "no visitation". Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • kick him to the curb honey, he's verbal abusive, and come on, who is made to draw a bath for their SO?? that's a ridiculous request on his part.
    trust me, you need to get him out of your house.. if you have to, have your dad write up the eviction notice.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:03 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • and trust me, men lik ethat DO NOT CHANGE.. they only get worse...
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:04 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • im just scared im gonna do this and him run off with my child.. or make my life hell when i leave him or i keep fallin bak for him.. i always forgive even when he does unforgiveable stuff idk how to make myself stop caring..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:06 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I know that men do not want to feel like they are bitched at all the time...nobody does...but I totally think he deserves it and doubt 100% that he would all of the sudden do things to help you in the absence of you asking. That said, I would play his game. I would ask him what he will do around the house and with the baby each day if you don't bitch and ask. Make him tell YOU what he will do...then when he doesn't...put it on him.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:24 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

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