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I want to be happy with him.....

I've been with my man for almost 3 years now and things have changed dramatically. I know that it probably happens to every girl when there's a child involved. When we first met and started dating everything was perfect. I dated him for about two months and then I decided to move in with him.(which I know thinking about that now..I know that was a huge mistake) We just moved waaay too fast. I wish I could of known him better. But anyways...things were good though...after 2 months of livin together I ended up getting pregnant. But I was happy cuz we planned it together. And I even told him he had to help me with this baby and he said he would.I was 18 at the time...I know I made some mistakes while we were living together but since we had barely moved in together..we worked it out and it was fine..but little by little I saw him change. Before I got pregnant we would always go out to eat or have fun..we drank and went to parties and it was fun. We lost the house we lived in and then he decided that we would move in with him mom. THAT was the biggest mistake we EVER made. That's where everything started.I was already 4 or 5 months pregnant. She lived in the CRAPPIEST place ever. But I thought maybe we could make some arrangements. Obviously no! We didn't have privacy AT ALL. she would always nagg about everything..and instead of telling his son to take responsibilty for me and work hard to take care of me she brought him down and sometimes would encourage him to drink. She would always talk shit about me and well it just went on like that for like a year and half!!! IT WAS HELL!!!! I even raised my baby there! Well eventually it went waaaaay too far and I left...I didn't talk to him for like a month or so but we started talking about working things out because he still loved me and he missed his son. By then I had found out that he moved out of there...but now he lived with his sister. When we lived with her she was cool..so I thought okay...things would be good...so I went back with him. Now that I've been living with him for over 6 months here its just not right..something is not right...our plan was to work things out again and really try to make it work. But he's not sweet like he used to be. He's always saying I have an attitude problem. How can I not be cranky when I always wait for him to get off work (which is at 1am!)? So I always end up sleeping around 3 or 4 in the morning cuz I still have to cook for him so he can eat when he gets home...so the next day I'm REALLY tired...and then I still have my son to take care of...which he doesn't help me with him. He gets mad for EVERYTHING and I just feel like the love isn't there anymore. He doesn't hugg me or kiss me..like small things like that...but he expects me to do it. He rarely tells me he loves me. He sleeps all day everyday so we barely spend time together. It's like he's not even here..so I'm always sad. At times he does tell me that he doesn't want to fight anymore cuz he wants to be happy with me but yet he tells me that I have to change first. He wants me to act like the wife he would want...the kind of girl that would cook for him...take care of him and be sweet to him. It sounds easy but its not cuz he's not exactly "nice" to me. I just want him to be a good father and a good example for us. I want him to be the type of guy that would spend time with him family and be a role model for my son. But he's not that guy....We don't fight like we used to but things aren't exactly "great". I don't know what to do. Leaving is not on my mind cuz the point is I want to work things out with him and be a happy family but I just want to know if there's ladies out there that have dealt with a realtionship like this and are now a happy couple..if so how did u do it??? :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • It sounds like you need to get out on your own with your son. Do you have family that is able to help you out while you get on your feet?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:09 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Well I know that but that's not my point. I still love him but yeah I do. I have my mom but she also got annoyed with me going with her and then going back with him. I did that 3 times already so I don't really want to cause her drama..she already has enough with my 4 little sisters.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:13 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry to say that if he doesn't like who you are and wants you to change, chances are things will never work out. He has to love you for who you are. Seems like he wants you to be the perfect "wife" but he is not willing to take any responisibility for being a good husband and dad. Good luck.
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 2:17 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • i am in almost the same situation as you.. im still lookin for that answer too!
    carrientravisj1

    Answer by carrientravisj1 at 2:33 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • The only way to fix this situation would take a flying Delorean with a flux capacitor chock full of plutonium to shoot you back in time before you f*cked this tool and dug the hole you're slowly dying in because you have this ridiculous fantasy of being happy with a guy who wanted you to touch his dangle, not be a husband and father because he has absolutely zero idea of what that really means. Cut your losses, dump the loser, get some education and a job and stop thinking like an infatuated teenager. Fun fantasy time is over now, welcome to the reality that your less-than-stellar choices have brought you to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

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