Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Need advice..

I have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 yrs.. i absolutely HATE his family.. they're crap.. his mom abandoned him and 16 his step dad tried to kill him and his bro and sister are two big liars and drug heads.. the only ppl he was close with was his uncle he made him pay 500 rent every mth for one bedroom and his cousins (a grl and guy) also lived there.. both of them are also on drugs bad and are just really trashy.. im scared for my daughter to be around ppl like tht.. when he's around them he treats me like shit but talks shit about them when we're at home.. drama drama drama.. his girl cousin was always tryin to hook him up with her whore friends behind my back and so was his guy cousin.. just trashy.. ugh he thinks im just tryin to be controlling idk what to do.. his friends are bad on drugs but we moved and he always wants to go bak to see them but he is the type of person that if someone is doin somethin he follows their footsteps then apologizes after its all said and done.. he was on drugs a long time ago and im scared if hes around the druggies that he may relapse..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:47 AM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • sounds like the only thing keeping you there is the few times you see a glimmer of hope in him = this is NOT ennough reason to stay
    you can not build love and life on a glimmer that he may someday be a descent person

    good luck, sounds like you know to leave- just have to do it

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:33 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • "when he's around them he treats me like shit"............These words alone are making me hope you reconsider being with him. You deserve so much more and to me this will lead to a disaster. Please think about if this is really what you want. GL

    Answer by whitepeppers at 7:44 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Get a real man! He has issues obviously, and you want to grow up but he doesn't. End of story!

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 7:30 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Well its always a problem is someone treats you one way when your alone and like crap around other people, thats your first HUGE red flashing warning sign!!!!! You can not help who your family is, and your always going to love them however there are some you have to keep some distance from when they are not doing the right thing. If he was on drugs when you change your life there are just people you have to leave behind to move on, and that includes some family and friends, ask anyone who has left any particular lifestyle to change, those who are sucessful at doing so will always have people they had to cut off as to stay away from whatever lifestyle they were leaving. I would put my foot down and tell him your not happy, this is not what you want for your daughter, but back your words up with actions and if you really mean it, leave the relationship until he decides what he wants for himself and your family Good Luck!

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 3:24 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • u deserve better then that for sure! Tell him are u want to go seperate and to call u when he grows up.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:13 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • thanks for all the advice i appreciate it.. and i know.. sometimes ive wondered if he has started bak.. and yeh when we argue or somethin he always blames it on me..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:03 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I know u do love him sinmce u agreed to marry him, but if I were u, I would RUN as fast as I can. If he doesn't stand up for u, disrespects u,. hanging around people whio uses drugs is asking for relapse, if he hasn't already. I mean since u moved and he is still going there, I would bet odds he using again. He is talking shit about u, so that there is telling his family, basically giving them permission to also treat u like shit. The little whore is trying to hook him up with someone, who knows, she might very well succeed in doing that. If he wants to stay with a man whoi has tried to KILL him for gods sakes!! This guy has alot of signs of being potentially abusive, probably after u r married is when most men show their true colors These people will not change. Do niot get into this relationship think when u get married u can ":fix" him. way hell.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:01 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • It does not sound like you are happy..lives too short not to be. I suggest you follow your happiness not our advice. You know what makes you happy and if he doesn't..leave.

    Answer by suzzanna at 2:59 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Honestly I want to say run, especially for your daughter. Realistically the love you share will probably keep you there for a while. It's never to late to establish how you will or will not be treated. All to often you will get the emotional duck tape.. 'I am sorry' then life goes on until it's happens again. You want to ask yourself do I want to do this for 30+ years if the answer is yes then accept him for all he is, if the answer is no then cut your losses and move on. My experience is that people only change what they want to (if they want to), people don't often change for other people. Remember to always put yourself first, because if you don't then you don't have any thing to offer you daughter who deserves the world & so do you.
    Good Luck!

    Answer by 1northwestmom at 2:56 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • leave this ppl if you don't like them !!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 AM on Jun. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.