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ROLES REVERSED

MY BF AND I MOVED TO NEW STATE ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO WELL ACTUALLY I MOVED AND HE FOLLOWED ME. HE DID SOME PRETTY BAD STUFF WHERE WE USED TO LIVE . LIED FOR MONTHS AND THEN JUST DISAPPEARED TO HIS MOMMY'S HOUSE STATES AWAY. SINCE HE HAS BEEN HERE HE HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO FIND WORK AND I AM THE SOLE PROVIDER FOR 5 . HE IS A STAY AT HOME DAD AND STEP PARENT . HE DOES PRETTY WELL BUT I CAN'T HELP IT WHEN WE GET IN A FIGHT I ALWAYS BRING UP WHAT HE HAS DONE IN THE PAST AND THAT I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING NOW . COMMENTS LIKE I CAN'T COUNT ON YOU FOR ANYTHING . WHICH IS KIND OF AN EXAGGERATION BECAUSE HE REALLY IS A GOOD HOMEMAKER . AM I JUST BEING CHILDISH BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM FOREVER. HOW DO I LEARN TO RESPECT OUR NEW ROLES . I FEEL SO LEFT OUT OF MY CHILDRENS LIVES NOW !

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SWAN923

Asked by SWAN923 at 6:26 AM on Dec. 14, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (2)
  • I think it all depends on what the pretty bad stuff and the lies are to be honest on whether you bring it up in arguments or not, if he is truly sorry and is trying to get away from his past then maybe try and leave it. I think the best way to deal with this is to talk to him, maybe he see if you can split the roles as in see if he can get a part time job somewhere, just a stop gap kind of job, just so you can get a bit of time with your children.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 6:30 AM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • I think you might need to get a little help dealing with the role reversal because right now you're being emotionally abusive. When you forgive someone of their past you're supposed to let it go and it's never a good idea to throw it back in their face when you're angry. At least you realize what you're doing is wrong and want to stop. When you're upset, do like you would for you kids, stop and take a couple of deep breaths and walk away before you say something you'll regret. And likely you'll realize that what you were about to say just isn't true. Just like when you were home, think of how it would've felt had he said those things to you. It hurts and it will scar his heart if you're not careful.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:26 AM on Dec. 14, 2008

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