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On again/Off again relationship...with a twist........(kinda long)

I have been dating a man for the last 3 years, and in this 3 years we have had a lot of issues in our relationship. For the first year, i treated him very badly. I had a lot of anger and trust issues with him. And every time we argued, i would go right to the name calling and at times, i would throw things at him. I was a very angry person. And i don't know why i took it out on him. When i know that this anger came from past relationships and not him, necessarily....

We constantly broke up and got back together for the first year and a half. And, yet despite what i had done to him before the break up, He kept coming back to me. After about 2 years, I began to seek out some therapy and with his help, I overcame my anger. I don't do the things i used to do. And i don't scream, yell and throw things at him anymore. Yet, the trust issue is still there......

But, sometime after the 2 years, he changed. We would still break up. But, it was over the lack of trust i had for him. When i have to think of why i don't trust him.....Many reasons come up.......The fact that after the 2 years, i found him lying to me. When we would break up, He would automatically seek out another woman and start dating them. I however, would stay at home and pine over the lost relationship....And that hurt me, because when we would get back together, I would ask if he had dated someone else....And he told me, Yes!.....I suppose that was my mistake for asking!.......

Anyhow, ...here's the "Twist"............We both live with our ....Ex's

Yes, we do...But, not for the reasons you all might be thinking....We do it because all of us...All 4 of us need the financial support right now. He and his ex ..and me and my Ex....And the Ex's kinda know about us. But, i am afraid he is never going to want to move out and move on with our relationship. I keep thinking he is getting too comfortable there and with all our problems, I am not sure if our relationship with survive much more......I know it's my trust issue that keeps getting in the way. But, how can i trust in what he says...I mean, we are both in the same boat here....Just at different places!!!........

What should i do???.............What would you do???

Thanks!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (1)
  • man you sound a lot like my past relationship that i had with an ex of mine we got together when i was 19 and dated for 8 yrs we broke up about three yrs ago we argued all the time got into some pretty heated fights and broke up got back together and started the cycle all over again :( the best advice i can give you is not to sell yourself short get away from the situation you are not a crazy person your issue is that you arent happy and he doesnt honestly make you happy it doesnt make either of you bad people but you two just are ment to be. I went to counseling as well when i was with him because i thought that there was something wrong with me and he said that i had situational depression and it seems like u might have the same you arent in a healthy situation and honestly you need to get out like i did and now 3 yrs later i am with a fantastic guy who loves me with all his heart you will find this as well love yourself :)
    jessi28817

    Answer by jessi28817 at 2:53 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

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