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Can men be emotional "players"

I guess what i am asking is.....Can a man be a "Player".....Emotionally?

Well, here's my story, in brief. I've dated a man for about a year now. And at times it seems he may be playing me. But, not the kind of "Player" most of us women have come to learn about and/or have dealt with.....I mean, the kind of man who keeps stringing you along, emotionally....

I guess i want to know if he's seeing someone behind my back?....Here's what is happening thus far...

~ He does call me all the time...Mostly texts, all day long and two calls per day, One call on his way to work. And one call on his way home..But, all of a sudden i get one text in the morning and then one at night, mostly on the weekends!
~ We spend about 4 days a week together. But, the other 3 days of the week, i only get text messages from him. Unless i call him!
~ We have sex almost every time we meet. But, if we break up for some reason.....It takes him a while to warm back up to it
~ He dated other women when we've broken up!....He says it was to get over me, Or get back at me!
~ He never let's me see his cell phone. And he's always checking it..........But, it seems there is never a text or call. Cause it puts it right back in his pocket.....
~ He is always cool, calm and collected. While i am the one who is always an emotional wreck!
~ He does compliment me with things like....You are so beautiful, and i miss you ( He uses that one a lot), and when we meet he's always all over me....

Is it just me and my damn insecurities?...Or, could he be "Emotionally" keeping me hooked?


Thanks!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I think you might be right......
    older

    Answer by older at 6:01 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Right?.......About which part exactly?.....You never specified
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:10 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Sounds pretty shady to me, I wouldn't trust him.

    lilysmom2607

    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 6:23 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • If you want to know for sure, stop sleeping with him until he commits to you.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 7:02 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I'd be weary of a man who feels he needs to "get back at you." I'd also question the cellphone thing, but as far as the no calling all the time, I wouldn't read much into that. Most guys don't like to talk on the phone anyway.
    BitsMom00

    Answer by BitsMom00 at 7:43 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I think you meant to title this question... Men can be such emotional players. My ex was awful towards me in this sense. Id drop the bomb of more commitment, or pull out your binoculars and figure out if he is really as faithful when he is with you. Good Luck hon!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 7:59 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry... I really am but I feel you and most of the people here are severely misguided. The only thing this guy seems like is busy.

    "~ He does call me all the time...Mostly texts, all day long and two calls per day, One call on his way to work. And one call on his way home..But, all of a sudden i get one text in the morning and then one at night, mostly on the weekends!"

    Men (like me) hate it when women attempt to predict and therefore expect our behavior. The expectation built upon calling often is the main reason I don't call most women often even if I want to. Because you know, when I don't call as often obviously "something is wrong"

    "~ We spend about 4 days a week together. But, the other 3 days of the week, i only get text messages from him. Unless i call him!"

    Why is it bad that you have to call him? 4/7 days of the week together for any self-respecting, busy, productive, worthy man is a lot of time.
    ReasonableMan

    Answer by ReasonableMan at 8:00 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • "~ We have sex almost every time we meet. But, if we break up for some reason.....It takes him a while to warm back up to it"

    If you mean break up as in ending the relationship... then yeah. Men are insanely emotional creatures if you crush their emotions in a relationship you mostly crush their desire to have sex with you as well. nag them, and the sex drive goes down (or in most cases to another woman). Women often think men don't display emotion to be macho but this is an oversimplification.

    "~ He dated other women when we've broken up!....He says it was to get over me, Or get back at me!"

    When you are broken up he can date whomever he wants for whatever reason he wants. I'm sure the only reason he gave a reason was because you brought it up so he had to make up shit like getting over you or back at you. You are complaining about something that is totally natural and within his rights.
    ReasonableMan

    Answer by ReasonableMan at 8:03 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • "~ He never let's me see his cell phone. And he's always checking it..........But, it seems there is never a text or call. Cause it puts it right back in his pocket....."

    Most people value their privacy. The world is a VERY judging place even if you are doing nothing wrong. Most unhealthy interpersonal relationships seem to have the issue of partners feeling entitled to seeing their partners every move which is now possible thanks to technological advancements.

    In short once again he is within his rights to never show you anything. If you cannot take his word for it then you shouldn't be with him, the end. Also, being "open" with your passwords and emails and such and then forcing him to do the same because you do is a control tactic made to remove his choice of sharing or not sharing with you.

    Once again if you have this level of paranoia... don't date the person.
    ReasonableMan

    Answer by ReasonableMan at 8:06 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • "~ He is always cool, calm and collected. While i am the one who is always an emotional wreck!"

    It sounds to me as if you want to be cool, calm, and collected but can't. It sounds to me like he can, so he is well suited to be your rock if you need him to. Not everyone operates emotionally the same under the same conditions. One of the main beauties of humanity is that we are all different after all.

    If you are an "emotional wreck" and don't like that you should seek ways to control and understand your emotions instead of projecting irrational emotional expectations unto others (and yourself)
    ReasonableMan

    Answer by ReasonableMan at 8:08 PM on Mar. 13, 2013

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