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3 Bumps

How do I stop being afraid?

Meet this guy a couple weeks ago and right away he liked me and we started talking the day after via fb. Hung out with during my birthday last week we did hook up then I freaked out very bad cause he's not like any of the other guys I've been with and I thought I fucked things up. But come to find out he still really likes me. We have a lot of the same friends and all our friends keep telling us how much the other likes them and I still worry he won't like. My biggest fear is that he will like me and we will start getting into a relationship and I'll get hurt again. He knows about the hell I've gone through the past several months and my recent miscarriage a month ago and my cutting, and he says just don't do that anymore. I'm just so worried cause since I meet him I just like had this very strong feeling that it could actually work with him. I'm so conflicted and I get so shy around him when we are at his place I cuddle up to him I try to talk and ask questions even when we are out but I don't want to seem nosy and out in public I'm afraid to touch him cause I don't want to seem clingy or I'm worried he doesn't like it. How do I just get over this shyness? I'm just so freaked out.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Girl, you just need to chill and enjoy the moment and not worry about the future, take it one day at a time. It seems this guy might have a future with you but don't rush there, little steps.....

    Answer by older at 6:09 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Just take it slow & see where it goes. You like each other, so that's a good start. He knows some of your quirks, & he still likes you, so dont try to look for more right now. It takes time to develop a relationship. There's no guarantees that you wont get hurt again, but you cant live your life fully if you worry about that all of the time. I've been thru some painful experiences, but they just helped make me a stronger person. Our experiences, good & bad help make us who we are. GL! :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:13 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • It sounds like you are more worried about "what people think", than who you are. It is in your thoughts that you will find security or not. Do not give more power than needed to the uncertain part of life. Pain and risks are are a part of life, why future trip over it all? Worrying is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. Take each day and enjoy what you can. Stay in this moment and focus on enjoying it. It takes practice, but when you get used to it, everything will change and you will find a new found confidence and security. It is your thinking which controls your emotions so watch them and keep them positive and grateful. There is nothing we can do to change what was, is and will be a facts of our lives. Accept that you can only control so much, and the rest will be an interesting journey. let go...change your thinking, change your life...

    Answer by LeJane at 6:17 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • My main problem is we are trying to get to know each other but I just don't know how to ask him questions or really talk much. I can even look him in the eyes without blushing to the point I turn red and turn away. I want to take things really really slow. I just get so freaked out when I'm with him cause I want to open up and talk about tons of things but I'm worried that if I do that he will think omg just shut up or quit asking me things. LOL ya know

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:18 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

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