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How do you forgive if you're still angry?

My husband came clean to me today that he lied to me about where he and his brother went to celebrate BIL's birthday last night. I accepted his apology, but I'm still mad. I want to totally forgive him, but I feel like if I let it go so easil my DH will think I'm a pushover. Frankly, I'm furious at his loser brother for asking my husband to drive him somewhere they shouldn't have been.
Anyway, long story short.... How can I forgive when I'm still hurt and angry? DH has lost my trust.

Answer Question
 
brandyj

Asked by brandyj at 7:03 PM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,228 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Time will help you decide, you can forgive as much as you can for now seeing its new, in time you will either let it go and be completely free of it or you will still hang onto it and it will be hard for you to move on in the relationship. The trust part well that is an ongoing process now if the trust is broken, it takes a while to get it back, he has to work towards getting it back by being open and honest with you going forward.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:07 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • EXPLAIN TO HIM WHT YOUR SO ANGRY. LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.THEN BOTH OF YOU SHOULD HOLD HANDS OR HUG ONE ANOTHER AND BEGIN TO PRAY TOGETHER ABOUT ALL OF YALLS ISSUE.AND THEN OFFER THEM UP TO GOD. AND LEAVE IT THEIR.
    butterfly193

    Answer by butterfly193 at 7:12 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • - I hate loser Inlaws, dealing with my own right now- But you have t explain to him, why your angry and why its ard for you to forgive him. Let him know that he will have to wrk to regain your trust, and if you want it abck you have to tell him. I dont kno if you have kids, but you have to explain tohim like he is 9. What he did was not acceptable. I wish you the best of luck hon!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 7:34 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I have no idea why people think that praying is going to make it all ok. Tell him you are still angry.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:39 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Time and a whole lot of communication. I still have unresolved anger towards my husband for something he did at the beginning of our relationship (I just found out about it in January), and it took me probably 4 months to be in a place where I felt comfortable telling him he was forgiven. There were a lot of conversations, tears, and fights during that time. He knows I'm still angry about it, but we worked through it together so that I was finally in a place to forgive him and trust him again. You have to be open and honest with each other in order to resolve anything whatsoever... especially something that has damaged your trust in him.
    JessiFaye

    Answer by JessiFaye at 8:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Ya, it takes time, and I think you are right. You can't just let him off too easy but also can't make threats you can't keep.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:21 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • This is just my opinion for ME....I cannot forgive when I'm still angry at someone. I can only forgive them when I have taken time and let some of the hurt go away and reasoned things out for myself and also talked the entire issue out with my husband. Then, eventually I will decide whether I'm ready to really forgive and get on with living our life free of regrets and grudges.
    I wish you the best...things like that are very hurtful when you fully trust and they let you down.
    I hope you find what works for YOU! You're heart will guide you.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 9:25 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • 1. Time
    2. Good Girlfriends to Vent to (Friend therapy!!!!)
    3. Godiva chocolate and ice cream
    4. Ignore him for a bit to gain a little power and drive him nuts (I use this one a lot, maybe too much, but it works soooo good!!!!)
    5. Yell (he will be so happy you are talking to him he will take yelling and shut up!)
    6. Compromise, Hug, Forgive Maybe


    If you still don't feel better, start again from 1.



    Gingerwheel

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 10:23 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I agree wtih Ginger, if you ahve to start over, try Starbucks Icecream. Yummm. The coffee one will give you the motivations to number 5. And comfort you enough for no. 4. And heck it will be a great tool to help you with no. 6 too! Good luck girl!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 10:32 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

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