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3 Bumps

Ex and his wife are having ANOTHER kid

I have 2 kids with my ex, he hardly pays anything in child support ($385 for 2 kids) and keeps having more and more kids with his wife. My girls are 9 and 12 and he has been married to his wife for 8 years, he left me for someone else when I was pregnant with the 9 year old. They have 5 kids (not including mine) and I just found out she is pregnant again. Normally, this wouldn't be my concern at all but my ex is supposed to pay 50% of activities (up to $200 a month for both girls) and 50% of medical but because my ex hasn't been paying for any of it because he says he "doesn't have the money". As far as the medical is concerned, I have paid about $300 in the past year and my 12 year old will be need braces within the year as well. As far as activities, I pay $380 a month. I felt before like I was doing the nice thing by looking the other way about this but clearly, either they have more money then they are letting on or they just don't care and if they aren't going to be responsible in order to have more for their children, I am not going to give things up in order to pay his half of these things to help him. I feel like sending my ex an e-mail telling him I expect him to pay for his half of medical and activities. Bottom line, I feel why should I help him if he won't help himself? What do you think?
P.s. I don't feel like I am taking food from these other children or anything because they get WIC and food stamps. I even give them my DD's hand me downs for their 3 girls (granted they have been through 2 girls by the time they get them but they are still in better condition then anything else they have).

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jun. 26, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (24)
  • Honestly, he was told to pay half, he needs to pay half. It's not your problem if he and his new wife are mulitplying like rabbits. You need to look out for your own kids.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 7:16 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • Forget the email. Just go back to court with your bills and show the courts that he is not doing his part of the court ordered (I assume) support/custody order.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 7:16 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • I would go back to court. But as far as them having more children, it isn't anyone's business to be in someone else's reproductive life.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 7:22 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • – collapse

    Why are you so upset about your ex having kids with his wife... what they do is their business, and I personally think it is spiteful to now decide to make him do more because you are jealous of him having another kid with his wife... their business


    bad ~*Green Monster*~

    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 7:25 PM on Jun. 26, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I don't feel it's my business per say but I do feel that I have been kind enough to look the other way to help them out and they turn around and have another kid, I am not going to do it anymore. It is already court ordered so all I have to do is submit the medical bills for the past year (since I get a year to submit them to him) and also notify him that he has 6 months worth of his half of the activities due. If he chooses not to pay then I can take him to court and he will have to pay everything he owes plus interest and court costs.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • It sort of IS her business, seeing as her children get screwed over because of it! If he was actually paying to you, he probably would think twice about having another baby! He really doesnt care! Take his ass back to court! You cant make him care but you CAN make him accountable!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • mommaclark, his wife says I am jealous of her too. I am not, I am also married and pregnant (though I don't owe my ex money and can buy food for my family without the government's assistance). I just think that I was helping them by looking the other way, because he is always saying how they don't have a lot of money, but then, they have another, well, if someone isn't going to help themselves by being responsible about having more children then they can afford, I certainly and not going to help them by giving up money that is owed to me
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • And I know sometimes people will say someone has too many or more then they can afford but my ex seriously does. They have 5 kids and one on the way in a 3 bedroom apartment, if their landlord found out about that, they would get evicted since you can only have 2 per bedroom and they have a total of 7 people in 3 bedrooms, and that's no including the one on the way or when mine stay there one weekend a month.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • If you are having an issue with the money he isn't paying, why not handle it in court?? Don't bother yourself with the kids that your ex is having.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

  • It's already court ordered so I have to prove I have made an attempt to get it from him before taking him for contempt
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:35 PM on Jun. 26, 2011

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