Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is this being taken advantage of?????

My in-laws have a lake house and my huby has a boat that we take out every weekend. And the friends (mostly his) that come down never offer gas money or anything. And we all know how expensive gas is. It really pisses me off but I don't want to be the mean bad wife. But my hubby will just let it go. My hubby has bought all the tubes, boards etc. for all these people to come have fun, you would think they would offer something? Right? Am I wrong for thinking this way? And how do you handle it without being a b**ch????????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jun. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • no you would think they would offer , do you eat up there , do they offer to bring food or snacks or anything?

    Answer by jenn660 at 9:50 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Its possible they dont stop to think about the gas. If they dont have a boat themselves, its usually not the thing you think of. Maybe bring it up casual in a conversation. Talk about how high gas prices are....and fueling the boat can be a pain. Then make an arrangement....I'll get the gas this week and you bring the food. Then next time we'll switch. See how that works!

    Answer by mlmkjw at 9:54 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Offering is nice, but etiquette says that if you are the host, it is your responsibility to be providing the guests with things. Would he be using the gas anyway? If it bothers y'all so much, stop inviting people.

    Answer by attap5 at 10:07 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • if your hubs made the offer, it's implied that he's covering the fees, etc.. however as a good guest, it's always polite to return a nice favor, the least they could do is offer to takeyou out to dinner later or provide dinner for a picnic..

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:16 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I would get a jar and have it say something catchy like, Boat money, and underneath it, money doesnt grow on trees, and gas isnt free. if they cant help than they arent friends they are using you, and for the one lady that stated its the host responsiblity, its a boat ride not a party, and true friends dont use you, they give as much as they get.

    Answer by kellylong78 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Considering this is an on-going thing, I think it would be polite of your guests to front some cash. We have a hot tub...well, right now its a really big bath tub because the heater went out. We don't have the money to replace the heater, yet all his buddies at work keep telling him he needs to get it fixed. I'm like "look, you want it fixed. You are single, and you want to enjoy it, then you need to help pay for it since you use it too". I'm thinking about getting a water jug just to set out there with a note on it "New Hot Tub Fund" LOL.

    Anyway, I would understand if it was a once in a while thing, but every weekend? Do y'all go out because of the friends, or like someone else asked, would you be going out regardless? And do you provide all the food, or are they willing to participate in that as well? Some people are dense and don't think, so you might just need to have a sit down with them. I would do that with hub first.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:35 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Be honest with them.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 10:47 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I would be very insulted if someone offered me gas money when they go out on our boat and I think your expectation is not reasonable. However, as guests they certainly should show their appreciation by bring you a little something, bring a gift for the kids, baking cookies, taking you out to dinner, inviting you for dinner at their homes, etc...

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 10:59 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I would be insulted! That is so not cool!

    Answer by blessmeplease at 11:34 AM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Growing up, we were always at my parent's friends house who lived at the lake. They provided the boats. They didn't have to provide anything else! Between my parents and everyone else that came, there was food to last a week, drinks and alcohol (they were a party crowd lol) I find it horrible that no one does anything to compensate y'all for the use of your boat! That's just common courtesy! Even if they are invited, they should at least offer!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:44 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.