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2 Bumps

Should this bother me?

My parents are going through a divorce, and my mother is already living with her new bf, I'm her only daughter and he has two sons, I've only met one but the impression I get from the one I have met is he likes to take advantage of his dad, he has 5 kids, and asks for ALOT from his dad, from a play pool for the kids to stuff for himself, and he's in his 30s so he's a little old for that. But anyways, my dad is living in the house right now but is planning to move across the country to be near his family. Well they have alot of things to get rid of because my moms new bf has everything, and my dad is gettingn an apartment so he's not taking that much. Well my BIL is a drug addict and has stolen ALOT from his mother so she needs alot of household things and is on disability and cant afford to replace everything with brand new stuff, and she has asked if she could buy some things from my parents like the lawn mower and things like that. Well I brought it up to my mother and she got very defensive saying her bfs son needed it. Which I feel is wrong to be giving her bfs son things that were my dads, especially when he isn't paying for it. Another thing I found offensive is I live in an apartment now but in a month or two I'll probably be moving to a house, and she didnt even consider saving it for me. She is always trying to impress everyone at my expense but I just thought this was out of line. I would have just gone to my dad about it but he's having a hard time and the subject would just upset him and he's left alot of what happens to things up to her.

Should I be upset that she's giving her bfs son handouts just to impress his family when my MIL really NEEDS some of these things and his son is just too lazy to get his own things? Idk if I should confront her or what, help!

Answer Question
 
husky_grlie08

Asked by husky_grlie08 at 12:58 PM on Jun. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,321 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • That would really piss me off!! I hate when people who don't get shit get handouts!! He needs to grow up already!! Good Luck Darlin!♥
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:01 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I think you have good reason to be peeved. Can you seriously have a talk with your mom? Good luck mama!
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 1:02 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • If you say something be prepared for the backlash she is impressing the wrong people and leaving people whom need it without . I would take on this task if your ready for the cold and silent treatment you are about to recieve if your like me you are strong and by all means call her out. If not let it go.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:07 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I would try to be calm and explain that it was your fathers, so you feel like you have claims to it before her new bf's son would. You love her, but enough is enough. And, you're very hurt by her behavior. If she doesnt understand, then just back away from her for a while. It sounds like shes going through s selfish phase, and shes have to eventually mature through it herself. I'm sorry!!
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 1:22 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I would have to say something to her! I know people like your mom, they give until it hurts (you lots of times). Just let her know that you need those items, and the right thing to do is to give to someone who can't do for themselves. We had a family member who "needed" things and ended up selling the items just for the money! When we had another family member who could really have used the items! It's disgusting!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:25 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I don't know whether it 'should' or not, but I know it would bother me! I would definitely call her out on it. Been there, done that, and got the silent treatment for my trouble.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:38 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Well its her stuff to do what she wants with it. I'm sure your MIL can find some good things at salvation army or garage sales. I'm not saying its right (in fact I agree with you). But its her choice.
    choco_mom

    Answer by choco_mom at 4:05 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I think your mother is wrong to be giving stuff away to someone who isn't family without asking family members first. I also think you have a right to be disappointed, annoyed, irritated, angry, etc. However, I don't think you really have a right to say anything to her. The stuff belonged to her and your father, not you. She can do whatever she wants with it. You can ask your dad for stuff or ask her to ask you if you need anything before she gives any more stuff away. Especially since it sounds like she could be money for it instead.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 8:35 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

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