Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think our families create personalities for us?

In my family it seems like there was a dialog created to characterize our personalities such as the smart one, the whiner, the devil, etc. Those personalities are generally not accurate, and in fact in most instances are completely contrary to who we each are. Yet the going dialog is that so-and-so is the smart one and so on. Of course the so called smart, or good ones tend to hang on to these labels more closely. Do you think families choose an identity for its members that is blind to any change or growth?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Dec. 14, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Absolutely, and regardless of personal change or growth, people are viewed through the lens of "the black sheep"; "the responsible one", "daddy's girl". if you manage to produce enough of a change, then you get the added excitement of being the "USED to be..." It's complete horse pucky, but that's the way people define their own roles in the family.

    BUT... to be fair, I don't really want anyone encroaching on my "smart one" territory, even if that means I am forever stuck with whatever less savoury labels I've also accrued!

    Answer by frecklepelt78 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Maybe in some families but definately not mine. I grew up with 6 brothers and 6 sisters All the same 2 parents) and we all have very unique personalities. Maybe there was just too many of us to label? LOL

    Answer by teddybear515 at 3:44 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • i dont know i am the "good one" (never been arrested or anything, dont get in to trouble, the only one of me and my siblings in college) and some how i get treated like the devil!!!!! my parents wouldnt even help me pay my tution payment of 90 dollars a month when i am the only one that has never been arrested (mind u my one brother has been arrested so many times and he spent 6mo in jail and my other brother is currently in prison) when my brother went to prison i took custody of his 4 kids (i then had custody of 6 kids!!!!) and evn then my parents wouldnt help me with tution because my mom didnt like my major (which is criminal justice) she wanted me to do nursing, and she felt i should be at home with my kids not away from them at school

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:59 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • parents definitely foster their kids personalities. my birth parents ate dinner at a different table than me when i was little, as such, i rarely talk when eating, even at a restaurant with friends. i made sure to smile and talk with my son all the time after he was born, now he's the happiest, healthiest kid any mom could ask for.

    Answer by imanixon2 at 5:14 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • I dont know if it is always intentional..but I am the oldest...two girls and 1 boy...although it was never spoken we just knew..I was the pretty one, sister was the smart one, and brother was the baby. Just seems like we all have a place.

    Answer by salexander at 7:50 PM on Dec. 14, 2008