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3 Bumps

Has motherhood lived up to your expectations?

I always imagined motherhood would be beautiful and enjoyable but with my autistic son who also has turrets and adhd I feel like it has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Like sometimes I feel like its not fair. I wanted my kids SOOOOO bad and now that I have them my son has issues that are affecting his daily life.

I know I'm strong enough to handle these things but its just not fair for him and I hate to see him struggle. And I hate these negative feelings I have about being a mom sometimes. Most days I don't even know what to do anymore. Should I punish for bad behavior or let it ride since most ppl say I'm a bad mom for disciplining a special needs 6 year old.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Jun. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • God Bless you mama!!!!!! Even a child without special needs can be trying.......kudos to you mama!

    Answer by Dahis at 3:05 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • sending you hugs!! my heart goes out to all mommies out there but you mothers who have to go on such a much higher scale of parenting than we can even understand.. !!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:10 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I never expected in a million years that I'd be the mother of two special need kids. A son nearly 7 with ADHD/Aspergers, and a daughter who's nearly 3 now who has global developmental delays. She has never walked or spoken. I try so hard to not let feelings of jealousy and bitterness and despair rise up in my heart because of the extra challenges I will face as a parent for the rest of my life. It's hard enough being a parent of typical children and trying to build friendships, and then you add on the special needs factor, which not many can relate too. Though some will try to be supportive for a time, often their compassion fades as they can't relate, or they feel helpless and turn that helplessness to anger towards the parents for what they are going through. It is a lonely, isolating, emotionally painful journey, but it's one I will be proud to face and I know that no one else will love these kids like I do. Hugs to you!

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 3:20 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Motherhood throws you for loops & I think very few of us end up having the life that we imagined in my mind. I can relate to you somewhat when my daughter was 8 days old we found ourselves in the hosp for 14 days & then through out the first year of her life or more actually we had several small issues but non the less issues that required med attention. We are now through all of that & I thank my lucky stars every single day that she turned out in the end to be a healthy child.

    You'll do just fine I'm sure having a child with the issues you have listed is a very exhausting thing to deal with. Keep up the good work.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 3:08 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Although my motherhood experience has exceeded my expectations, I can see how you might feel "let down". Images of parenthood often include happy and perfectly healthy popular, smart and athletic children. When the reality of each child being an individual complete with flaws, weaknesses and handicaps surfaces it is hard not to long for the ideal scenarios that we had envisioned our entire lives.

    If you are having a hard time w your son maybe look into therapy- both for your son and yourself. Being able to freely discuss your feelings without judgement can really help.

    Answer by bloomsr at 3:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Motherhood is not what we all dream times playing with our kids, taking them to fun places, the fighting, whining sets in and then you're mad and by the time you make it back are about to pull your hair out. I am sure it is hard on you and your son. Do research and maybe join parenting groups, it you have any and have the time...maybe they can help you with some ideas on how to deal with him to make life easier for the both of you. I know he can't help it and he doesn't understand what is going on with him, but maybe someone has some helpful ideas for the both of you to make life easier. Good Luck!!

    Answer by luvmy4kidsinAL at 3:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • It has for me, I LOVE being mom to my 5 kiddos.... but Bless your soul... you are strong and loving, it will be rewarded to you in the end!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 5:04 PM on Jun. 27, 2011