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Annoying parents! --- venting

Do you get annoyed when other moms try to show off their kids accomplishments and make you feel bad? My dd's friends' moms are SO competitive. They're always telling me how good their kids are in math, reading, sports, or Reflections contest. One of them had the nerve to tell me how her daughter got into the GATE program and she'll be able to participate in all these special programs for GATE kids, at my dd's BD party. My dd is a good student, but not an A+ student. She reads at 8th grade level and she just finished third grade. She is good a ballet and she's very social (which in itself I think is a big plus). However, she's not athletic and she's okay in arts. The last two years she's been struggling in math and had to get extra help, but she worked very hard and is in proficient level. I'm just so sick of moms showing off how smart their kids are and how they just understand the math concepts so easily, how talented and athletic they are. UGH!!!!!! enough already, I already know your kids and know this all. Good for them, but don't compare them to my daughter. She is in my opinion an amazing human being and she doesn't have to be perfect!

 
Ashoonik

Asked by Ashoonik at 5:15 PM on Jun. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,618 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I dont see a problem with a parent being proud of their child.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • All parents are proud of their kids---some are just more vocal about it. Sometimes I get annoyed---usually I just smile and nod.
    mom2LandL

    Answer by mom2LandL at 5:28 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • So they're proud of their kids and you don't like that. Gotcha. I'm used to that, as so many people don't like how proud I am of my perfect Son..I just ignore your kind of mom, since it's obviously your issue and not mine.
    .MhacFoirfe.

    Answer by .MhacFoirfe. at 5:35 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • It annoys me as well! I only have a 6 month old and it has already begun with their milestones!!!!!!!!

    Other MOM: "Well, my baby is already doing tummy time and she loves it, she can lift her whole body up at 2 months old!! How's your baby doing?" Said with a raised eyebrow and a snide grin.

    ME: "Well my baby weighs the size of two of your babys so she has some extra weight to hold up! I bet your baby doesn't take 3 naps a day plus sleep through the night at 2 months old. WHAT NOW?!?!?!?" Then I wave my arms like a crazy woman and shoo her away.

    (My response could have been a little over dramatic, but might as well been that way!)
    Gingerwheel

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 5:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • ^^^^what she said. My sons 17, Autistic, and graduating from high school with straight A's. Holds a job. And 7 yrs ago would not even go to school. My 6 yr old is amazing at dancing, smart, and very talented naturally. My 11 yr old is intelligent at genus level. I tell everyone. They all also play sports and most are good at that too. I figure if someone is offended at the fact I am going to brag about my kids who BTW I stay home with to insure they do their best and stick my head in their business to insure they do their best then it is their problem, not mine.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:37 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I hear that a lot with other mothers.. especially On CM where all are genius. my son is only 3-1/2 so I can't say I've really had to deal with it yet but even at 3-12 he's average in most things -I guess maybe it would be different if he was over and above smart in every area, maybe I'd just be shocked or proud and say something, but I'd never brag but even then, others take that as bragging too - we just consider him Max-perfect..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • idk what 'reflections' is..which brings to mind a funny story about a girl/GATE. i asked a co-worker's dd what GATE stood for. she told me, and i said, ''so are you telling me you're gifted and talented?"..without skipping a beat, she replied, ''no, i'm just telling you what it is.''

    i still laugh about that, and this girl is 27yo now! LOL!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • MhacFoirefe
    it's great that you're proud of your perfect child, but is that good enough reason to try to make someone else feel bad? or what does someone else care about how smart your child is?
    Ashoonik

    Comment by Ashoonik (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • There is a different between parents simply sharing accomplishments with friends and parents that brag to a fault. My son is not terribly athletic. He's never going to win awards for sports although he's got enough skill hold his own when he plays. I don't get offended when a friend with a same-age child tells me her son was invited to join a competitive baseball team in addition to the regular non-competitive team our sons were in. I don't get offended when she excitedly announces that her son made the all-star team either. I ask her to pass along our congrats and I recognize her excitement for what it is - she's proud of her son and his achievements as she should be. In the same vein, I should be able to share with her (or others) what my kids have accomplished without having to feel like I need to 'hide' it lest someone take it the wrong way.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 5:45 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • >it's great that you're proud of your perfect child, but is that good enough reason to try to make someone else feel bad? <

    Why does someone else having a good thing to say about their child have to make someone else feel bad? Sometimes it's not the 'proud' mom doing the comparing. Often times it's the proud of mom simply sharing and the other mom comparing and feeling bad about what she perceives to be the net results of any comparison she's doing as she's hearing Mom A go on about whatever it is she has to go on about.

    You ask who would care? I don't know. I care about what's happening in my friend's lives and of their families. I care about my kid's friends. I'm a Girl Scout leader and I work with my son's Boy Scout den. I know their peers in their sports groups too. GOsh I hope someone shares stories of achievement with me so I can be proud of those kids too and tell them so.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 5:50 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

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