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My husband tells me that I an ungrateful adult content

My dh is saying that I should be grateful for all the things he do for me and I should show some appreciation. Which basically means that I need to give him some sex. We haven't had sex in over a month now. We both decided that I was going to quit my job and go back to school while he took care of the financial situation. My day consist of taking care of a 2yr old and a 6month old. I cook , clean, wash, iron clothes. I also have to squeeze time in for my studies and classes. I am usually the first one up in the morning and the last one going to bed. Dh doesn't have to do anything but take out the trash and mow the yard(riding lawn mower which we use once a month). The only thing I ask of him is to watch the kids for a couple hours out of the day so I can study. he says that I should be able to do all of this since I am home everyday. He works 14hrs a day with a side business on the side(which I take care of the bookwork). I do let him get his down time. He gets home and eat, take a shower, and watch the news. I give him at least 3 hrs to settle down before I try to study. I try to have the kids fed and bathe so he does not have to do it. He down right refuse to help me out. He will take ds(2yrs old) for a ride but he leaves dd with me saying that she is not a problem and that I can handle her. I am so behind in my studies I don't know what to do. I usually find myself falling asleep on the couch with my textbooks. I am basically to worn out physically and mentally to have sex with him. I tried telling him if he help me out more with the kids then I can get things done where we can spend quality time with him, but he is not hearing it. So ladies do you think I am being ungrateful?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Jun. 27, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I had three kids and went to school full time. I managed and still always had sex with my dh. You can do it if you try. You act like his 14 hr day job is nothing. 14 hrs and yet he still manages to want sex with you. Put the kids to bed early and show him your gratitude.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Your not being ungrateful you take care of the kids all day and the least you give him time to relax he is the ungrateful need time for your school work and he should give you time to study.

    Answer by MizzMejia at 5:45 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I think he has no idea how hard your "job" is daily.. and sometimes you just can't make them see that.. Before having kids, my DH considered SAHM's to not "work" or that they had all the time in the world to clean and cook and do whatver they want.. He worked 4 days a week and had our son mondays since birth.. he changed his tune quickly about that.. its tough to try to get someone to see all that you do but I don't blame you for not wanting to have sex, getting in the mood goes beyond physically for me, my dh helping me and appreciating me and what I do makes such a huge difference in wanting him sexually.!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:23 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • no I think it sounds like you both have a lot on your plates, but he doesn't sound like he's very appreciative of you!!!!! I f he doesnt want to help let some of the stuff around the house go so you can make time for your school work

    Answer by april666 at 5:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Yep. You are. And it will come back to bite you. One of the things a man needs most is to be appreciated by his wife. Your husband has flat out told you he's not getting that. The other things he needs from you is sexual fulfillment, and you are withholding that, too. Marriage cannot be treated as a competition about who does the most or the least. If you keep a scorecard, you can always figure out a way to make yourself be the winner. If he keeps the scorecard, the decision will most likely be different. Marriage is about working together, building each other up instead of tearing each other down, and helping your mate become the best person he can be. Your husband should always be priority one. The children will grow up and leave home, but if you build the right foundation, your husband and you will be together for the rest of your lives. Show the man some gratitude and in the way that pleases him.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:27 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I think both of you should sit down and talk about what is expected of each other it sounds like both of you have a lot on your plate so to speak. I can see why he wants sex if he hasn't had any in a month. I also understand with your schedule you're probably exhausted at the end of the day. I suggest talking things out...

    Answer by suzzanna at 5:28 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Im notsaying you're ungrateful but he does work 14 hrs a day. He is paying the bills and if you're at home of course you're suppose to do the house work. You're not studying or going to school 24 hrs a day. He deserves to be shown some gratitude. A month is a long time without sex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • No you are not being ungrateful. I know where you're coming from. I just finished school and can count on one hand the number of times DH helped with our kids. That is not an exaggeration. Yet he found all kinds of time to hang out with his buddies after work, to help friends and relatives with anything and everything and just bascially do whatever he wanted. I couldn't even get his help to study for my final. I was able to take it more than once, thank goodness, if I felt my grade wasn't what I wanted or if I failed a section which I did. I finally passed and that was taking it one last time online at home with taking care of the kids. That time I passed. He still doesn't really understand it's hard to have sex with him when all he is really doing is adding to my workload. He got a new pet recently and expects me to take care of it. He was surprised when I said no.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I am not bothered by the house work. I don't mind doing what I amd doing. My problem is that I shouldn't be the only one raising the kids. That is what I feel like. All I ask is 2hrs to study while he plays with the kids and keep them occupied and he refuse to do that.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • He does find time to go play basketball or watch the game with his friends and he was the one that pushed me to go back to school.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:41 PM on Jun. 27, 2011