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How would you handle kids fights with their friends??

My 9 year old argues with her friends all the time. She'll come home in tears and "shes lost all her friends". But, by the next day everything is fine again. I let most of it go, and try to console her a bit with the old "let it go honey. It'll work itself out in a few days". But, her best friend is getting a little my opinion. They fight constantly over a third little girl. And, whenever they fight, they try to turn their other friends against each other. But, this other girl is starting to really lie to the other girls about my DD, and today she told her "Youre the fattest person I've ever seen". My dd is the farthest thing from fat...she gets her stringy stick figure from her dad...I'm thankful for that. And this other little girl IS a little heavy for their age group. But, I HATE the "fat" crap. Thats something I have a hard time ignoring. My DH says to let it go, just like everything else this other girl does...but I worry if she keeps it up, things will get worse. And I DONT want my preteen drama queen to have weight issues like I did...or even worse...and get an eating disorder. I know I'm really really jumping the gun on this one, because this is the first time...but like I said...I HATE the fat issue among young girls. Do you think my hubby is right, and I should just ignore it. Or should I say something to my DD, or her friend now before it gets worse??


Asked by mlmkjw at 8:51 PM on Jun. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 25 (24,974 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • i would just sit your daughter down and tell her what friends are for. friends support you, love you and make you feel good. they may have disagreements sometimes but not constantly. i would tell her that maybe she needs to reconsider her group of friends if they treat her like crap all the time. tell her to start hanging out with different people sometimes....maybe she will find someone she likes better.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:53 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I agree with him this time, if it happens again, mama bear to the rescue. Sometimes we have to distance our kids from certain "friends" for their own good. :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 8:54 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I would tell he/she that you should be nice and try not to argue with them.

    Answer by Luvmykiddies123 at 8:54 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I stay out of it. They need to work it out on their own for minor stuff.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • Welcome to the preteen girl world!! Girls are just nasty to each other. All you can do is give your advice and let her and her friends work it out themeselves. They have to learn how to work out issues on their own.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2011

  • I think you should try to help your daughter address how she reacts & feels about these "friends".

    Do some reading on girls & bullying - there are a lot of great books out there.

    We all know this kind of behavior goes on & lasts into adulthood for some women (look at some of the posts here!). Empathize with your daughter - I'm not saying buy into the drama, but let her know you know it hurts & that friendships can be complicated.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 9:44 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Next time your daughter and her are playing at your house, have a sit down with them and let them know that the "fat" talk is unacceptable !! And the next time that you hear that they are calling each other fat they arent allowed to play or be friends anymore. Kids these days i swear are so mean..its the bad parenting !!!

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 7, 2011